~ VERBAL EXPRESSION AND UNDERSTANDING ~
ON EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION:
* October 31, 2014 · Anyone who really knows me will know that the one of the biggest heartaches for me is to be painted with the wrong brush, shoved in the wrong box, taken out of context, misunderstood in terms of intentions or actions. Yet in this world people will more often than not cast you in whatever role they choose to see you in, twist your character into whatever mode they deem you to be, according to their mood or situation in life. For instance, if they have a bad day, you are the enemy, if they are on hiatus you are a pain in the ass because you are still passionate..etc etc. However they choose to see you is how they see you.
One of the reasons for this is that people do not like to "find out" thru communication. I mean the REALLY LISTENING type of communication. People have their heads full of themselves..me me me..then wonder why they never knew x,y,z about somebody. Well shit dude/lady, you had ample opportunity to open your mouth and ask, or open your mind to understand. But no, humans nowadays are so self centered, temporary minded, blind, deaf and shallow that caring for/about another fellow human being is outside of their itinerary of life. Stop the selfishness. Stop and help a body up now and then if you see them struggle. Stop and listen to somebody's point of view. Stop and step outside your own shallow box and connect long enough to understand where their head is.
The message here is...people who take time to listen, feel and understand you as you truly are, are precious in your life. Don't ever take that lightly. And It should always be a two way street. I know 99% won't understand this, it's a sign of the times..but i had to speak my mind.
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ON INTERPRETATION:
* July 30, 2014 · No matter what you do or how/when/why you do it, somebody will find something about what you did or said to misunderstand in some way. I'm slowly learning that if this is the case you may as well just say what's on your mind regardless. People will interpret it, change it in their head, run away from the message, smile and nod or fight you anyway. What is the worst that could happen? Or...they might actually comprehend....Now there's a thought. I'll take my chances.
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ON AGREEING WITH YOURSELF..YEARS LATER!:
* September 26, 2015 · #MorningThought Have you ever, while browsing thru your fb memories from five or more years ago, and while reading the statuses found yourself nodding and thinking "well said, couldn't have written it better myself..oh wait, I did write it myself"..? ..Yea I know..I guess we must still agree with some of our old thoughts. *shrugs
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ON ASSUMPTIONS:
* July 12, 2015 · You have every right to assume whatever you want..IF i don't explain myself..If I explain and you don't accept what I say or listen..or jump to incorrect conclusions, then your assumptions are based on ignorance and your misconceptions combined with what you choose to believe..not facts.
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ON BEING MISUNDERSTOOD:
* August 12, 2013 · Everybody has that 'something' in their life that bothers or upsets the hell out of them. Mine is having intentions, actions or words misunderstood or misinterpreted. If I talk with you it does not mean I am ready to have your babies or even open the door of my life to you. We are all humans on this planet. Interaction is interaction, not personal invitations. If you are already in my life you already know I give my people 150%. I have your back, not because I have to or am obliged to, but because I actually care enough to want to and because I feel there is mutual love and respect there. I can yell at my people and speak my heart without expecting them to slam the door in my face. Because if they truly know me they know my intentions are pure, and since I'm a laid back person by nature my angry words will always come from a good place. For me loyalty is not given lightly..trust definitely isn't and the rest of me is not for the taking. If you question my motives after I explain them..it messes with my heart.
* November 3, 2013 · The most hurtful thing is when my thoughts, actions or intentions are badly misinterpreted..especially if it's people I care about that should know me better.
* October 12, 2010 · Folks who see only the outside miss the essentials. People who shut down if I disagree, think differently or respond slowly i.e think before speaking, miss the point. If the heart is seen and taken for weakness you are seriously mistaken. There is more strength, drive, stamina, passion and determination in this 5'2" female frame than Goliath ever dreamed of having. Take ya time..I'm not complicated, just loyal to my dreams xxx
* January 3, 2015 · RANDOM MORNING THOUGHT: One of my biggest upsets or distresses in life is being misunderstood, UNheard or misinterpreted. Do not read between my lines but do listen or pay attention..focus on what is said. Comprehend the essence of the concept. The words are thoughts coming str8 from my mind tap..You are welcome to question the thoughts, challenge them, correct them if you feel its needed. I won't hate for that..I might even be enlightened..or you might. Hopefully we both will! But engage and involve yourself and see where it goes. Communication improves the more you use it..It is something that must be exercised and encouraged, not shot down in others. Keep an open mind. Do you realize that you should take something away from each conversation so that you have at least one more topic (NOT gossip..but a gained understanding, theory, something learned etc) you could potentially have for conversation with somebody else? Or even with the same person/people at a different time with a fresh approach. I'm still growing. "Undiluted thoughts without beration, hesitation or premeditation, clears air/Tunes the mind like meditation/heals mental dis-ease like medication." - MofoHari
* May 4, 2013 · The most devastating thing for me is to be misunderstood or have intentions misread. People go on unphased afterward but it lodges like a bullet in my heart and messes with my head until there is understanding..
* April 29, 2015 · One of the things that will haunt and trouble me until I can't breathe at times..is so simple that if I step back from tormenting myself over it I can sometimes laugh at myself for doing it..is when people misinterpret or misunderstand who I am, how I am, something I've said or done, intentions..etc etc..At the end of the day if you have made the effort to communicate or clarify and still are not understood..that is on them. You can sleep better at night knowing that.
* June 21, 2012 · CONFESSION 2: One of my greatest "weaknesses" is allowing myself to feel upset or distressed when I am misunderstood..and this does happen a lot, especially in the US. If I speak strongly, or with passion, or stand up for my beliefs, or even step in for somebody else who has been misunderstood and speak up for THEM..I am crucified and branded a shit stirrer, disrespectful, diva, bad bitch, when I am only speaking for what I feel and believe. No harm to any human is ever intended unless I am personally or directly disrespected..or my family..otherwise..I really wish people would stop jumping to the defense or to battle before they consider what is being said and why..
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ON CLOSED MINDS:
* June 11, 2017 · Do not accuse people of a lack of understanding, empathy, compassion or sympathy if you have no idea what they do, where they have been on their life journey or how they think. Avoid being closed minded like those you mentally accuse without true knowledge of THEIR heart.
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ON MY "REMIXED" ACCENT:
* August 21, 2016 · My accent, terminology and vocabulary is so remixed and blended (east coast, west coast and transatlantic, with a little donna-ese metaphor-ism added to the mix) that I'm just glad if anybody can understand what I'm talking about. lol
Christolyn Carter: I feel you Donna. Me too, that's why I don't rush to answer my student's question, "Ms. where you from?"
Donna H Mofohari: lol! they need to tune in to the lesson! <3
Adam Martinez: It's so remixed i can sometimes hear the chris morale tag in the background lol jk
Donna H Mofohari: lol!
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ON OVER-THINKING:
* July 24, 2015 · It is good to know facts and truths, but to my mind it's not always necessary to break every little thing down to the tiniest fraction. Sometimes you gotta just say to yourself "it is because it is"..and let it go. Sometimes I browse on facebook and see so many posts and memes stating the absolute obvious like they were the most profound statements ever. You don't always have to see it in writing to recognize that things are what they are...but then again..there's all kinds in this world. Maybe some NEED to see it that way. But the other angle is, just because it is in writing and said with flowery speech doesn't mean it is so. Know or research your facts, but there's no need to over analyse. I have to occasionally remind myself of this too. Sometimes I overthink things, but life is teaching me that it just destroys the lesson. Ooh and one last thought. There are times when you are not meant to take a statement literally!!!! See what they are saying, really read it and see that it may be said in jest, sarcasm or just a simple statement, idea or thought that doesn't need to be questioned. Use your mind and don't go crazy trying to decipher, analyse, question, read something else into it etc..It is what it is. #RandomThoughts
* August 26, 2015 · Yes I confess, I think too much and express either not enough verbally, or what I do say sometimes comes out all wrong and therefore misunderstood, wrong emphasis, not assertive enough, too laidback when it should be power packed etc. This English language of ours and speech in general is obviously an art form even when using euphemisms, slang or other languages. That is why it's usually easier for me to write or sing it..sigh.
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ON CRYPTICISMS:
* July 4, 2015 · Admit that occasionally..just sometimes..maybe..there are times when you have no idea what I'm talking about. Maybe you miss the metaphor within a statement, are mystified by my terminology etc. So when you say something cryptic to me that doesn't quite click immediately in my brain, understand that and illuminate. Your frustration or mine does not help expedite comprehension..
* November 3, 2009 · I have come to the conclusion that I need to be more psychic. Folks are saying more empty or half phrases and expecting me to 'know' instinctively what is going on in their brains, wanting me to understand!..Speakkk up..No mind games, No tricks, no tricks baby..If you want my thoughts you gotta give me something to go on..MofoHari keeps it real and from the heart. If you are guilty of non expressiveness raise ya hand!
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ON UNDERSTANDING OTHERS:
* January 14, 2014 · If I had never lost a loved one, had troubles in my life, or had to walk rocky roads alone at times..if i had never felt pain of rejection, or loss of a cherished dream..or had to get back up and keep going when I didn't feel like I had the strength, and without anybody to pull me up but my own will..if I'd never been thru tests, trials, effed up and took the tests again..or had a child to raise on my own so that I had to play two roles with the worries of double discipline..then maybe I wouldn't feel compassion when I see someone's tears, or hear disillusionment, or see folks stumble and THINK nobody cares or understands..See that's my problem..I do see..and know..and understand..and care..sometimes wayyy tooo much.
* March 1, 2012 · Every day I'm hit broadside by somebody saying "You'd never understand". My child saying "you don't understand how it feels to..x..y..z cuz you're not a child"..Adopted or childless people saying "you can't know how it is, you have had parents/have a child"..People of other cultures saying "you wouldn't understand cuz you're white"...etc etc everybody is RIGHT..How could I??..I wouldn't dream of saying I could or do..cuz I'm NOT you. That doesn't make me eligible for a firing squad. I'm just me. But then, you don't exactly know where MY feet have trodden, don't know what hardships I may be having, nor would I expect you to feel my pain or understand..why? Because I deal with it..I don't cry to you...but..but..you just don't knowwww what iiii...NO..my feet move on..I will survive. If you are loved, supported..let those people sympathize even if they have different struggles than yours..u be aight..just keep your head up and walk the path you are given. Things could be worse..and hey..I'm still smiling..hell yea..I'm glad to be alive!
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ON VERBAL COMMUNICATION:
* September 23, 2015 · I'm not a great "speaker"..I think a lot..am alone 99 1/2 % of the time, most of that time listening, reading, creating, contemplating, writing, planning and building. So external speaking and physical interactions are not my strengths simply because this is not an area that has been developed enough. Even as a kid my dad was usually too busy to spend quality time with me so we communicated in writing, leaving each other handwritten notes or drawings on the bedside table. So I learned to express in writing. Later I learned to listen eagerly whenever I'd be involved with conversations..I love hearing people express verbally to me. I do realize that speaking what's inside rather than writing is just a matter of getting used to trusting those thoughts to come out clean and uncut, not worrying about the quality or how things are said as much as the purity of thought..speaking what you think or feel without pre analysing it as one tends to do when writing them. But I'm working on it so..if I start talking too much..thats why lol.
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ON SAYING "THE RIGHT THING"(?):
* January 3, 2015 · #RandomThought People often tell me I always know the 'right thing' to say. That is actually not true. Truth is, sometimes I'm like a bull in a china shop with words and thoughts, and sometimes don't express myself right or say 'the wrong thing' and make shit worse. There are days that I don't hold back when I should have stfu, and other days I should have spoken up when I just couldn't find the words at all. There are that I stammer and stutter and can't get a verbal sentence out of my mouth, and days when I can speak better verbally than thru type. It just depends on the day, the mood, the issue, the depth of passion or wanting to get thru etc etc..a lot of stuff..But hey, if somebody wants to hear and understand they can either ask questions (NOT i repeat NOTTTTT 'huh'..*achmed the dead terrorist voice..i keeeel you) or use their mind and decipher the words. We are all humans on this planet..figure it out..its called communication. Whether somebody chooses to comprehend is pretty much on how much they WANT to.
* January 3, 2013 · Ever opened your mouth and the most inappropriate ish came out? ..Like stuff you said just playing and sounded great in your mind but it made people suck their teeth or give you one of those pregnant pauses like..huh?...I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed sometimes, even if I have a philosophical mind *shrugs..I try..like the song says 'I'm just a soul whose intentions are good..oh lawd, please don't let me be mis-understood'..and on that note..WeOouttt
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ON REALITY CHECKS:
* January 16, 2014 · Learn the difference between assumptions and reality. Believe it or not you may not have all the answers! Yeaaa I know..shocking right!? Being misunderstood or seen in a warped mirror has always been one of my biggest stress points so I try to hold down my own thoughts on other people until they prove me right/wrong..Once again I have to say..people sure love to do a lot of 'talking' but seem to abhor communication.
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ON WALLS:
* January 21, 2013 · However I break down truth for you..however I speak it, write it, rap it or sing it..if I hold your hands and look in your eyes while we speak or yell it with fists bangin on the table..if you build a wall against either me personally or the message itself..nothing that I could tell you will reach your thought processes..Not even to add your own thoughts or ask questions. This is what is fostering a nation of communication phobics. Open and use your mind! You never know what you can gain from listening.
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ON UNDERSTANDING MY HEART:
* September 26, 2015 · i don't need people around me to understand where my head is..I need them to understand where my heart is. To understand one is to accept the other.
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ON SPEAKING WITH PASSION:
* November 27, 2014 · Funny how, when I speak my mind..like if i get upset about what I see or speak on deeper subjects..anything other than smile and give sage thoughts about random things or share tracks or memes, people sidebar and worry if I'm ok..lol..Yes..I'm good..I'm fine..Just expressing thoughts..I have more than one emotion..and plenty of passion..but trust I'm not falling apart or I wouldn't even be on facebook lol.
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