~ LOVE, RELATIONSHIPS AND MAN/WOMAN COMMUNICATIONS ~
DISCUSSION ON WHAT MEN WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP:
* January 21, 2012 · So far i have learned from observation and discussion with menfolk around me that most men do not want a lady to "love" him..just sex him. He does not want her to have any sense of jealousy, just let him do what and who he wants but never EVER must she, the female give another guy a sideways glance or show interest, either in that 3rd party's appearance or his conversation, and he wants her at all times to 1) be independent but 2) show him 100% unreserved attention....But no matter what the variations in all these things, there seems to be one most important common denominator, they want a woman to be able to communicate openly and honestly.
Ed L. Gibbons: I can say I want that love! Love is beautiful once you realize what's in store
Danye Hudson-Miller: no, men want love- because love is patient love is kind, etc!!! all men get is jealous expectations and selfish sex... which is why men look for a female who is not selfish sexually because at least she aint hidin nothin... but then- they always are hahaha...
Donna H Mofohari: thanks for your pov's :) @ ed..i hear you..you seem to be a rare breed! @danye LOL i do feel you..that is definitely food for thought for us ladies! Good to hear the honest thoughts!
Donna H Mofohari haha!
Danye Hudson-Miller: Donna H you know imma keep it 1000% witcha
Donna H Mofohari: yessir
Ed L. Gibbons: Love is love, sex is always good but ima hold out till the love is there! And thanks!
Donna H Mofohari: *appreciated too ;)
Donna H Mofohari: that is definitely good to hear
Ed L. Gibbons: :)
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DISCUSSION ON WHAT TYPE OF WOMAN MEN PREFER:
* October 27, 2012 · Men..would you rather have a quiet, visually sexy/attractive wifey who did everything you asked and never thought for herself but waited for her orders? Or would u rather have a good hearted but maybe less than perfect visually woman who walked beside you, met you halfway with communication and thought outside the box? -Bboth can cause friction in their own ways..but given a choice, which one would you prefer? Be honest!
Chris Cash: Good hearted
Murray Northwood: Donna I reckon you know my answer already...
Gregory John Lewins: the latter definitely xxx
Donna H Mofohari: yessir..i believe other countries have different views..and i've also read that a lot of guys say they like a strong, communicative woman but i think a lot of women go overboard with that to the point where they are mouthy rather than communicative..i would have thought men would like a woman to stand on their own two feet when required but be able to listen and also be a LADY at the same time..but..ive been outa touch with the dating scene so long its interesting to hear whats goin on out there lol ..or relationship preferences..however u want to look at it.
Gregory John Lewins: · You hve just encompassed all my thoughts on the matter Donna
Donna H Mofohari: femininity is something we need to cherish as females..im not a man and im proud to be a woman..as such we can be humble yet strong, ladylike yet communicators, handle ourselves as business women, yet defer to our men as kings..give and take..yin and yang..thats how i FEEL its spose to be in this life
Gregory John Lewins: · wouldn't go as far as kings!! but i love your viewpoint
Donna H Mofohari: yea..this is the time i need to be writing...im in think-mode lol
Gregory John Lewins: · it is all give and take- any partnership is when those who can do and those that are crap at that aspect take the back seat nobody does everything but all is complemented
Gregory John Lewins: · equality xxx
Gregory John Lewins: · it doesn't mean everybody has to everything just that everybody has the opportunity to do what they are good at
Donna H Mofohari: i like that
Donna H Mofohari: same in a business relationship really
Gregory John Lewins: · exactly same principle lol
Gregory John Lewins: · and a relationship is the ultimate business surely???
Gregory John Lewins: · btw- hi Donna lovely to meet you lol
Donna H Mofohari: haha pleasure is mine..thanks for the inciteful comments :)
Gregory John Lewins: · kinda think insightful rather than inciteful lol
Donna H Mofohari: *runs for the dictionary lol..thanks!
Donna H Mofohari: we are not starting a riot here
Gregory John Lewins: · lol- but both have aspects of truth here lol
Donna H Mofohari: :)) dies
Rudy Jeannot: Since I value mental stimulation, I'll probably wouldn't be interested long enough in a submissive woman to make her my mate. But while I value openness, I detest useless conversations, and I dislike it when someone is not granting me the necessary time to process their words and respond accordingly while choosing my words judiciously.
Donna H Mofohari: so you would need a balance...no banality and pleasantries but str8 in to intelligent conversation with equal listening on both sides and appropriate, logically considered responses..ok i get that..thanks!
Gregory John Lewins: · banality and pleasantries have their place but not all or................boooooored lol
Donna H Mofohari: hahaha understood!
Gregory John Lewins: · lmao- btw what consultancy do you do?
Donna H Mofohari: i connect clients to businesses..like if an artist needs a manager they tell me roughly what they are looking for and i find and provide professional introduction..also have producers on board and i offer session work or hooks..that type of thing
Rudy Jeannot: Yes. I'm also speaking from experience, having being in a relationship where the person lack the ability to know when to speak and when to say silent. And as a relationship progresses the level of intimacy allows you to communicate non verbally.
Donna H Mofohari: i definitely agree about the non verbal..thats important..speaking in the wrong place can kill a moment..i hear u!
Gregory John Lewins: · aah ok - looking to set up consultancy in international pharma- process and QA validation
Gregory John Lewins: · also automation of QC
Donna H Mofohari: oh got u!! i saw u are in the UK..im not in connection with anybody in that field but i'll definitely keep my eyes open and will give u any info i find
Gregory John Lewins: · nice Rudi- believe that the non verbal is sooo much more important than the verbal
Gregory John Lewins: · thankyou hun
Donna H Mofohari: no problem! im really not familiar with that area of expertise tho lol..way over my head..but you have my word I'll see what i can do.
Rudy Jeannot: The non-verbal is also an indicator of how truly intimate the relationship is.
Donna H Mofohari: yes indeed..thats where the senses take over..spiritual and sensual..sounds are good.words get in the way
Gregory John Lewins: · empathy xx
Donna H Mofohari: yess..totally agree..good points!
Rudy Jeannot: Spirituality and sensuality is what keep us gravitating towards one another.
Donna H Mofohari: truth..i agree
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ON COMMANDING RESPECT:
* Sept 1, 2017: Message to my menfolk..Look, we appreciate that it is hard to be a man in these times. There are so many snowflakes n choc drops who will drop for you and give you 20 the minute you give 'em the side eye wink. THE REST OF US enjoy being feminine and are not "advertising" our bodies for you when we show a little cleavage or maybe a dress that clings, or we show our legs in shorts. That is because it feels good to ourselves! We do not like to hide our femininity..we're proud of it! But we are queens and will not be treated like concubines. Check your sarcasm on this one..not everybody is "for the taking". Ladies with standards will choose a king who will treat us as we treat them..as royalty. Step away predators, you are not welcome.
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ON PRECONCEPTIONS AND BOXES:
* August 22, 2015 · I am not in the "lost and found" box to be scrummaged thru and retrieved, not a game to be beaten, not a challenge to be risen to, not an amusement ride, not a battle to be conquered, not a bitch to be beaten down, not a ho to be put in place, not here to be compared with a line up of "options". There is no plate here to be "stepped up to", not here looking for a relationship, not here looking for flattery, not a cougar on the prowl, not looking for a sugardaddy or whatever else people put in their heads at any given time when they see a woman.(especially one who expresses her thoughts).
When people stop trying to categorize and figure out what "use" or part people could or should be playing in THEIR lives, for THEM..the world may stop, breathe and appreciate the essence of each other. As a wise man once said "nothing is forever". Try just breathing each other's air and seeing where they are in their own path. You may never have another chance to find out what is brought to the table unless you change your mindset. Drop the preconceptions and hidden agendas before you sit down at my table.. #BreakBreadNotHearts.
ON DISPOSABLE VS LIFETIME RELATIONSHIPS:
* January 3, 2013 - The world is too geared toward 'disposable relationships'. I have more respect for my grandparents who were married until 'death do us part'. There may have been times they wanted to choke each other but they took the trouble to communicate and sort things out before they got out of control. Clearly it was a 'formula' that worked.
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ON THE SEARCH FOR "LOVE":
* August 22, 2013 · All you folks out there desperately looking for love..It doesn't happen overnight like that. If you think it does, that's lust not love..Stop rushing it! Real love takes time to evolve. You cannottttt force somebody's 'Emotion Hand'..or like Diana Ross said.."You Can't Hurry Love"..and the rest. No way am I in any rush..I am just happy that there are folks around who care about and respect me as a person..No rush at all..Que Sera Sera lol.
* October 22, 2015 · Men who are frantically searching for any port in a storm will end up with nothing more than a porthole and miss the ship entirely. - Random MofoHari-ness
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ON FLOWERS AND GIFTS:
* July 18, 2014 · I DON'T want a man who thinks flowers and gifts are all it takes to win me over. Manners are important but just be who you are no holds barred..no matter what. I will see/feel/know that you are bringing the real you to the table and respond to that. But more importantly, don't "set it up" or stalk or play games. If I really feel you, you wouldn't need all the games or persistence..you'd see and know the feeling was mutual. If you are there and giving me your time, attention, concern and energy, that, along with your being str8 with me at all times..is all i'd need. Treat me right, treat me fair, communicate openly and you've won a loyal woman who doesn't flake and turn on you at the drop of a hat. Oh and one more important factor..mutual support..Yes I said mutual. I had a man who didn't like or respect my creativity. It drove a stake into my heart. S/N: No I'm not taking applications lol..Just random thoughts.
Amanda Paradyme Stockham: I feel where you're coming from... There are wonderful men out there that will do just that.
Donna H Mofohari: i hear you :) i think it's the kissing all those toads to find a prince is the part that holds me back.
Amanda Paradyme Stockham: Oh yes...but once you find him...oh sis...once you find him everything will change. You are one incredible lady...
Donna H Mofohari: awwww thank you..and the admiration is mutual :) and i do hear what you say..loud and clear.
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ON SUPPORT:
* June 15, 2014 · I could not be with anyone who did not encourage or support me in making the most of my skills and doing something i love..and I would not want to be with someone and not do the same. A man who would ask me why I bother (doing something that fulfills me) would not be worthy of my time. Earning a living and doing what society/family etc deem as "The right thing" is great but in some ways can sap your soul. For some people (Yes i have seen it with my own eyes) "falling in love" means having your entire brain sucked out by the other party. Everything they do is to please them. Zombified and roboticized, they lose the soul and essence of themself. So I challenge all couples..are you encouraging your man/woman to grow? Are you supporting their fulfillment needs whatever they may be? (Noo not sexually..get your mind around what I'm saying here)..You may wake up 20 yrs down the line with this person and suddenly it will hit you that you both gave up more than you bargained for. Love does not mean to lose yourself.
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ON PERFECTION AND QUALITIES:
* November 18, 2015 · My perfection would be a man who would never raise a hand to me unless we are rollin' around like kids, but never in hate..make love with passion like tomorrow didn't matter, and walk with me with pride..This man, this man i visualize lol..well he's crazy as I am but in the best way..and he can tolerate, accept and respect me without hating parts and loving others..Eh plus the usual things like communication and loyalty. But to my mind the onus is not on the man to be perfect. To be good enough for a man of those standards a woman has to be able to demonstrate that her qualities are equally on point. #RandomMorningPostNightmareThoughts
* December 18, 2015 · I can tell I'm "different" than most by the fact that I do not find the type of man, or certain men a lot of women publicly drool over attractive or inspiring in any way. It makes me scratch my head to see them faint at the sight of a muscle or a self obsessed dude with female qualities (ugh with a capital U!) And yet certain men who women turn their noses up at and don't see the awesomeness in, my imagination has trembled with girly hopelessness over. Guess I have to see "something" in a man..that je ne sais quoi that my inner being responds to. I'm big on eyes and what they "say"...)just not a surface person I guess :/)
* May 21, 2017 · When it comes to dating and long term prospects I do not have a "preference" for any specific race, shade, build, age or income level. My only prerequisite is that we connect/click mentally and physically as well as musically and therefore spiritually. Also that he is not a predator, but a friend who will stick around...(not hang around..stick around..there's a huge difference lol). But even with all the humans out there with a "must have" list longer than the eiffel tower, my core "preferences" seem too much for most.
* January 6, 2011 · In a perfect world 'his' convictions that 'we' are perfect would match mine, pulse would race equal to or higher than mine when eyes meet, and 'he' could not hold back sexually/emotionally any more than I could. On the other hand I would never come up for air and my focus on goals would be diverted. All things in life occur for a reason. I can sing about it and touch more people!
* May 6, 2011 · Ladies..what type of man would you prefer..One who brings you flowers, holds open doors, takes you out and tells u everything you want to hear? Diplomatic to a fault so you don't know what he's really thinking? OR a man who really wants to know who you are, takes you out, wants to talk to you but keeps it 100% real at all times, even if it means telling you what you don't want to hear..
* May 12, 2017 · Sorry guys..your perfect woman/man exists only in your dreams. Try a flesh n blood human with flaws and faults (within reason) and meet her/him in the middle. If you keep waiting for this dream woman/man to be yours..you are gonna be alone or bed hopping with ms/mr wrong for a long, long time.
* April 30, 2013 · If men would stop looking over the shoulder of women they have bedded and moved aside in search of better, they might realize they were wasting valuable time chasing pretty things that were not remotely interested in them, when they could have been finding new heights with somebody who actually wants to be around them and might actually be right for them. If women would stop worrying about how much money he has, if he dresses exactly right, if he speaks just the way she would imagine a man should speak, if he is the right shade, height etc, they just might find they are appreciating the company of somebody they actually like...sighs..aaand the world just keeps turning...*i propose a toast to single ppl everywhere (*hic)
* June 26, 2015 · If he is the man of your dreams but you are his nightmare, or vice versa..means you better sit down and re evaluate your idea/mental vision of perfection/imperfection.
* October 12, 2016 · #RandomThought: If you consciously or unconsciously routinely go for a woman/man who has no emotions and doesn't gaf about you, then stfu and do NOT complain when they ufkk every other male/female that will let them. It is what you bought into..what you asked for. Congratulations you won. No snivveling or hating like allll the opposite sex is the same. No mofo, you just go for all the same types and throw away the ones that respect and like you. "Eww no..that's poison". Go lay down on the bed of nails you made. You apparently love pain. Theirs and yours.
* April 7, 2011 · Sometimes people look so hard for 'better' at a distance when already they have perfection at their own front door.
* August 5, 2011 · So many are looking so hard and so persistently for the perfect man/woman/sex partner that they blind themselves to/pass over or lose the right one.
* May 7, 2012 · I met my definition and image of the 'perfect' man once but I wasnt his type..That's how I know I'm meant to be single..I'm too imperfect.
Mushugana DeLa Rukkus: hiz loss...........
Donna H Mofohari: thanks sire xxxx
Duwan Bartley: He wasnt ready for what you had to offer
Warren Mrp Pierre: He didn't deserve what you had to offer, Mr right is only mr right now, mr right might be right there in front of you and you just didn't notice him
Donna H Mofohari: Thanks for the comments guys <3 i hear your points
* July 14, 2015 · I don't care who you are, there is always going to be that one person you can't be with, who will always be the one you are searching for in all the rest consciously or unconsciously..or at least the one by whom you measure anyone else. Sometimes there just ain't nothin like the original so you must either choose 2nd best or accept that nobody will fill those shoes and stay solo. On the other hand if you can by miracle eliminate the preconceptions and stop 'searching', you might find some surprising results..try it. Oh and btw #EFFLOVE and lust lol it messes people up..makes them blind and stupid..Look at Samson. That is all.
* July 24, 2014 · Funny how the loneliest people are convinced nobody likes or wants them when they have consistently thrown away every man/woman who did. Try giving that one who may not have been your idea of perfection your undivided attention for a minute and see if you can find something there you didn't see before when you were frantically casting your net for 'the next one'.
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ON MOFOHARI'S SEX THERAPY:
* August 18, 2014 · To all you lovers, ex lovers and would be lovers out there on the planet..I want you to remember eeeverryything when I'm singin' sweet and low..everyyything..And if you can't remember everything, fantasize..Call me your personal therapist..I got you lol.
* June 26, 2016 · Give me a miss with the summer romance....I make the MUSIC that is for YOU to go out and get yourself a summer romance WITH lol..I make the music that is for you to woo the girl of your dreamz..Don't aim for the singer..Over theeere foo..*points thataway..Who is gonna sing those songs if you stop me making those for you? #WrongDoor I'm the one with the lights dimmed on the stage at the mic singing softly while you smooth on up to "her", take her hand and spin her around.
* February 4, 2017 · ...When your doc walks in the examining room 7 mnths gone..Popped and rounded like the Pillsbury Doughgirl, and she says "it happened right after I saw you last time".. @o@ ....Ladies! Keep away from me unless you wish to build your family..apparently I got the powah! Lmao. #LuckyCharm #OrCurse?
ON REJECTION:
* November 28, 2014 · Ladies, how do you feel when THE ONLY man you want constantly looks over your head around you etc, like "move out the way bitch I'm tryin to get at this one here"...not nice? Well then..stop doing it to the men who try to talk to you! Understand the pain of rejection and be a little nicer with your response. Not everyone is thirsty. Some just might actually like you..#MenHaveFeelingsToo
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ON BEING HANDS ON:
* October 6, 2011 · Be "hands on" with your man ladies. If he wants you with him or around him GO. Stop the selfish attitude. Trust me there are so many ladies prettier, sexier, younger than you who will be MORE than glad for the chance to take your place when you show disinterest. IF YOU START TAKING HIM FOR GRANTED YOU BETTER PLAN TO BE SINGLE. Men, don't sit there lookin like you got no part in this. If you want her around you, pay attention to her, let her know she is ALL woman to you!
* December 7, 2009 · If God presented an opportunity to spend time with a man I connected with mentally, physically, musically. (Hand on <3 ) I would unreservedly be PROUD to introduce him to family, friends etc regardless of political/religious beliefs, musical tastes, age, race, social standing etc. A relationship is between two people and nobody else. So why am I hearing beautifulness passed by on fear of some stupid ish, worrying about 'what if they'? or 'but if they see..' ?
* January 22, 2010 · T
here is a difference between feeling 'lonely' and feeling 'unsupported'. Some folks feel like they have to be 'with' somebody to avoid loneliness. To my mind, if you feel loved and supported you dont need somebody with you 24/7..You just know and feel it. Boredom with life is boredom with self. Get past these two issues and you will learn to appreciate yourself.
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ON PREDATORS, HEARTBREAKERS AND SEX ADDICTS:
* August 16, 2016 · No Fellas, women are not pokemon...men with sex addictions be runnin out in traffic trying to catch em all..
* April 2, 2016 · I remember having a drunken, smoky discussion with an African British dude at a party in London yeaaars ago. He was trying to hit on me but somehow I had him confessing his "female addiction" and was counselling him, telling him the more he ufcks around the less he will be capable of caring for one. We talked for hours..(And before you ask..no he didn't..So maybe I got thru to him..) *Donna's drunken counselling session #55 ctfu.. S/N I no longer drink, smoke, go to parties or counsel wayward young men so no you cannot book me for parties..my "counselling" is confined to talk podcasts or in song format nowadays.............
* November 5, 2016 · The more sex you have with random people the less likely you will ever be able to be with, respect and show adequate love to just one. Stop complaining, crying, searching. Sit down and be still. Heal that addiction before it murders your mind, spirit and self respect. This goes for all genders.
* April 17, 2015 · Here is the thing that surprises me about facebook (although nothing should)..People (mainly men) put up statuses asking for the most intimate, personal details and people (mainly women) flock to comment/reveal anything and everything publically. Women (and men) will even happily agree to date strangers without ever speaking or meeting. This world just doesn't seem to care about anything these days. No filters, no caution, no nuthin. I cannot fit in with all that. Some things are cool to declare in public and some people are cool to talk with one on one as fb buddies, but there hasss to be limits (unless you already knew somebody before you were on fb). Ladies (and Men too!) please...use your head!! It's a dangerous world these days.
* October 17, 2010 · Too many predators and not enough sincerity, karma is a muthafukka. Seriously..If you go around hurting people it IS gonna come back on you. Ssadly alll the warning in the world won't help folks if they don't want to see it..and by the time they do, it's too late. They only feel what you say when they are the ones hurting..and when THEY hurt the world is coming to an end!!
* September 29, 2015 · #RandomThought maybe you men should concentrate on quality over quantity..(shocking idea..yea i knowwww...) Try picking a good lady and if she likes you stick with her long enough to find out. I know I know..there there..calm down it aint that bad..Just a suggestion from a person of the opposite sex who just couldn't have a cluuue what you go thru with these crazy women..lol
* August 14, 2016 · Confession: when I see people jumping from woman to woman or man to man, all I can do is mentally go "yeckk"..Why not stick with one and learn them well? I see, I observe, I know what I do want and what I don't, which is why I leave everybody alone. No I'm not closed down to the relationship thing.. but when somebody is willing to understand that an investment of my heart and time means I'm here and ain't going anywhere, they will be closer to understanding "me". I have a right to expect that i will be met halfway or full on by somebody of the same mind/heart. No, all good things do NOT have to come to an end. If humans can get past that they will have a more rewarding life.
* November 24, 2012 · The world is full of 'stand by' men. Opportunists who watch for a woman to be heartbroken, lonely, or bored, or in the right place at the right time to make moves..playas. I guess if that is what makes you happy..cool. Sex is an addiction as sure as drugs and anything else that drains you of ability to share and feel emotion. If you are happy with a sea of faces, names you can't remember (so you have to call em all shorty or boo to avoid trouble)..fine..You will have a lot of men around you to facilitate that addiction..and women too!! Meanwhile that 'one' good woman that could have lifted you to heights you never realized, stood beside you and been 100% faithful, or shown you how beautiful a partnership could be, falls thru your fingers because you weren't tuned in to it. Yea nowadays it goes both ways I know. Women can be just as bad as men. Examine your mirror and see what the reflection says.
Kama Linden: If you don't already know my songs you kinda summed them up
Donna H Mofohari: i'm sure you don't remember me but i've known you and your music since i lived in england..we connected around 2006 or 7 when i was planning to perform in the US and you were giving me advice but it has been a long minute..
* January 10, 2015 · People are not pieces of paper, numbers, robots here to please or do your bidding, pcs of flesh sent from heaven to satisfy your carnal needs or animals to be hunted. People are not chess pieces or personal property that automatically are programmed to serve when you get papers on them. People are not inanimate anything..Everyone is a warm, living, breathing human with emotions (whether displayed or hidden), experiences and lessons that created the character that they show you. Yea we all know we all write our own scripts but when you change the act or scene in your play, try not to leave a trail of bodies or destroyed hearts behind you. There are real life emotions involved in every life choice you make, every casual connection, in business, with family, with friends. Remember this well because from what I'm seeing people brush a lot of things they do under carpets and treat people like they are unimportant things, toys, figments of their creation etc.
* April 8, 2013 · Know this, just because you feel no pain does not mean someone else is not being devastated right now by an action, attitude or behavior toward somebody who cares about you..Good hearts are not expendable, they don't grow on trees..Cherish what you have or learn from karma..
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ON OTHER'S PERCEPTIONS OF YOUR NEEDS:
* July 3, 2011 ·
Food for thought. I work full time, college full time, co-host the radio show, my biz and of course raise my daughter, yet folks around me are going nutz at me. "You need a man, you need a man (including supervisors! lol). One female co-worker said on two occasions (and meant it).."You need to have another baby". I said "That's crazy, what would I do with another baby?! And anyway I don't have a man. She said, dead serious, "That doesn't matter"..What is the world coming to?? smh
It shows me that NON MUSICAL people truly have no idea the focus that is needed or the drive, or the passion behind what they do. So many folks are relationship or baby oriented that they can have no comprehension of what I'm feeling. Hey..maybe I'm a breed to myself..but at least I know myself and where I'm going.
Alfredo Fooks: who knows you don't need no one just to please others i mean im single raising a child alone and i'm not just trying to settle! Their really needs to be a connection, trust if you truly love what you do most of the time your to wrapped up in it to see outside of it nah mean?
Donna H Mofohari: exactly my point Alfredo..definitely..!! its not fair to a relationship to have no time to commit to it, especially if they are not on the same path that u are on musically..a relationship takes commitment from both parties..and like u said..the connection is IMPORTANT..part time sex buddies is ok if thats what both ppl want but when u got kids, u got to be careful with that stuff..u know..and as far as having another baby without a dad in their life? NO THANKS!
Alfredo Fooks: I See That We Are Totally On The Same Page with this one
Donna H Mofohari: yes..was beginning to think i was on my own with this one the way ppl have been talking :/ good to know someone understands!
Alfredo Fooks: exactly :)
* May 12, 2017 · I know even I have thrown out a sarky comment about Nas's women but the bottom line is I really don't care who he dates etc. Leave him alone. I don't think he'll be that wounded over petty public opinions. Can he live?
* August 13, 2010 · ..So a guy says to me on the phone, "You need to be having sex cos after all, you are human. You have needs and sex relieves stress". Does everybody believe in random sex with folks for medical reasons?? Guess I'm on my own here.(*side note: Anyway my taste in men sucks bigtime so if I see you and like you, do ME a favor..RUN..it's just my 'human side' acting retarded when I should know better, will thank you for it tomorrow lol)
Balik Whack: lol, sex does relieves stress, but doing it for medical reasons may not be the best of things to do. they are other ways to release stress, so if you're uncomfortable with sexuality or the appeal of being labeled a ho when you may not be, it's best to uphold other methods. it's still nice tho. and some men like the quirkiness or the simple chase of beating around the bush. memorable things are always better with challenges.
Donna H Mofohari: na jus messin about 'sucks bigtime'..we all like what we like..its all good..:) Thanks Balik..i hear that..good comment!
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ON CARING:
* October 31, 2015 · People
need to understand that both in men and women, "caring" does not mean lusting after, chasing, being thirsty, desperate, needy, stalking, "in love with", a proposal of engagement etfkkncetera. It does not mean "in your face", or that the person is expecting "something" in return for the privilege of being cared about. It means they respect, appreciate and LIKE you as a human being.. It means that they would be there for you, it means that they would "not" be there for you, it means that they give a damn what happens to you. That is what caring means to me..maybe it's just me tho. This is my definition.
*
August 12, 2013 ·
Women who want their man with them 24/7..100% of their attention and to rule the roost with an iron glove..or vice versa with the men..Are not 'In love' they are 'On power trip'.. Love cannot flourish under scrutiny or captivity. It becomes like cat and mouse or slave and master or bland acceptance without emotion. (ie going thru the motions). It seems to me the ones demanding the most attention and wearing the other partner down until they give in are the ones in divorce court, or back in dating mode and they can't figure out what went wrong. Just a little observation.
ON AUDITIONING/INTERVIEWING FOR A PARTNER:
* December 3, 2014 · Maybe it's time to start auditioning for a man so I can retire from public interaction like just about everybody else is doing or has done..who knows. I could stay home in long skirts n stiletto boots, hair scraped up on top of my head in a bun, baking cakes n strumming my guitar all day..holding private performances for him..candles n backrubs..gettin chunky and not worryin about nuthin'..hmmm let me just think about that..Maybe I'm missing out on something..
* April 14, 2016 · I'm taking applications for marriage proposals for the year 2018..No no..Don't go getting divorced from wifey to throw your hat in the ring! No long distance relationships, no online courting..Mutual respect only need apply..If i don't like ya like that..don't pooosh meee..lol..Just messin fellas..I love all of you who treat a lady AS a lady.
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ON COMMUNICATION:
* September 24, 2014 · I get a lot of enlightenment from random conversations with men (the few that are willing to open up and say what they really go thru with women). When it comes to communication (and even more so in relationships), I guess the only way to meet in the middle with each other is to do just that..open minds and communicate..and listen..! Not just "yes dear" but listen and respond. So what if you argue over a thought? I used to think that would be the worst thing ever. But actually, as long as you're not physical with it, it does more good than harm to get it all out. As women we need to be more receptive and stop shutting down verbally, emotionally and physically with our men..and vice versa. I'm a single lady so this is just me thinking out loud.
There seems to be a huge gap between how things "should be" and the realities of people's experiences. It takes two to have a real convo, not just platitudes or game playing but a real conversation. It takes two to make a relationship. It takes two to make an effort to understand each other's minds and meet each other halfway. We can't change/control how "they out there" (men to women) relate or behave with each other. All we can do is get our heads right and give it our best to do what we know is right with each other. In my case i should say, if/when I have a relationship. But you know..generally..both genders have to be ready to make the effort to get it right.
* April 3, 2013 · Seems to me men and women go thru partner after partner. Some are in it for serial sex, others looking for 'the right one'. When they find one they like the 'look' of.. they ufck each other's brains out and conversation goes out the window. He or she gets bored when the sex high levels out and wonders what's wrong. One calls time on the 'relationship'..and then (wait for it) and THEN communication kicks in?!..ohh..so NOWWWW you want to communicate???!!! This world is truly effed up. And then both wonder why they can't find a good person of the opposite sex..dang..It's all backwards.
2Likes: Dominic Quick and Duwan Bartley
* October 2, 2015 · Random thought..I hear so many ladies longing for men to really communicate with them. How would you feel if you were a man who was willing and able to spend time talking with somebody, and that somebody was standing over them with a metaphorical carving knife waiting to tell them to stfu, or stop being stupid, or jumping on every little thing like wtf are you talking about?..Reverse that too, because it CAN happen both ways..Women will clam the eff up if she is continually cut off or stopped in mid sentence, or that she is saying or doing something all wrong..She loses confidence and overtries..meaning she fkks up worse..IT WORKS BOTH WAYS FOLKS..So be nice...Humor is humor but ridiculing and belittling is another thing altogether.
* July 10, 2013 · It is amazing how many men complain that they can't find a good woman, and women who cry themselves to sleep at night because they don't have (or want but can't get) a good man. What in the world??? Okay so men/women think different/talk different..So what?? Surely SOMEBODY can meet in the middle and understand the lingo of the opposite sex?!? It ain't THAT difficult! Bottom line is folks just don't TALK to each other any more (I blame technology and all these unsociable social sites). I guess its easier when you are on the outside looking in at everybody, but i'm 100% convinced you don't need date dot com, christianmeet, blackpplmeet, farmersmeet, match, speed dating etc dot com, or all these other dating businesses springing up all over the place if you would just open your mouth and communicate with each other. And ladies STOP looking so miserable, pay attention to your surroundings and stop being so goddamm hateful to men who pay you a compliment or even dare say good morning to your grumpy ass. Men stop casting your seed around..women talk, and they keep their distance if they find out you are one of 'those'..and vice versa of course!
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ON COURTING:
* July 17, 2017 · DO men and women court any more? Talk to me. Is this something that does not exist in these "speed it up lets get it on" days? Is it an age where ppl speed date online and feel they know each other well enough to jump into sex the minute they meet? What is it? I will neverrr court online..ain't gonna happen. I need eye contact, need slow and steady "get to know you" time. I say efflove until I know if I LIKE somebody and if it is reciprocated. Once bitten twice shy..one sided love sucks. It would SEEM (I may be wrong) many choose bed hopping as speed dating with no intention of mental connection. (#safetyzone #barriers) Or maybe there's just so many women out there spreading legs that men get distracted from real connection and want to try all the fruit in the Garden of Eden?
Jessica A. Young-Fanor: Majority of male minds aren't conditioned for monogamy : human instinct actually works against that specific confine. I'm similar in that I need a mental connection ... but yeah : I don't like when they get inside my head. Single works..... don't inherently knock it!
Donna H Mofohari: Thanks for your thoughts! I feel the same about them getting too much in my head. I can live with being single but it would be ultimately great to have that companionship..a mate to build and plan with who won't change lanes on you without signaling.
John McGlone: Get to it no. Cuddling ??
Kama Linden: all they want to do is text me to death
Donna H Mofohari: hahaha The art of true conversation is dead lol
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ON..A SHIFT IN CUFFING REQUIREMENTS?:
* September 7, 2014 · Interesting thought..I have watched women from both sides of the Atlantic getting cuffed left right and centre/center. Not a single one have had hourglass figures, been model material or been rich. Most have been a larger size with regular features. Is it a sign that men eventually come to their senses ? Once they've allowed their animal senses free reign and run game on every big booty, "bout it ho" (some men's terminology, not mine) they can get their hands on, could they have learned that good girls, the average looking ones who don't play with every man who steps forward..just might have something worth coming home to? hmmm..just a thought.
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ON INTERNET DATING SITE ADS:
* November 4, 2013 · I would rather be dragged behind a mac truck at 250 mph than date a cowboy from that site they are force advertising on my page..I would rather jump into an erupting volcano than use any of these dating site variations they are forcing me to view. It brings out the violent side of me. Get off my damn wall cowboy, or farmers meet dot com, or black men who like white women dot com, christian mingle dot com, men who like larger women dot com, black ppl meet dot com, senior citizens meet dot com etc etc etc..no pimpin on my walls..Go out on the street corner where you belong.
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ON THE "SLUTS AND NUNS" MINDSET:
* July 13, 2013 · Interesting seeing the dudes that openly say 'all women are sluts'. I actually was with a man who had the 'sluts and nuns' complex. Once I had a baby I was shoved into the 'nun' category..and got 'none' from three months of pregnancy to the end of our relationship. Women are a little more complex than that. SOME women give us a bad name..true..BUT a lot of us will be freaks for her man, and her man ONLY, which by no means says she's a slut! It means she and they are committed on equal terms to enjoying each other to the fullest, listening, learning, speaking and doing..and that is how, to my mind, it SHOULD be! But this 'hoes and no's' business is dead wrong. Ladies you could HELP do away with this mental dysfunction in men by speaking up, oh and not BEING a bitch..SMILE once in awhile other than when you wanna get laid by a stranger...Might help change the press we get.
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ON SPEAKING IT IN TO THE UNIVERSE:
* Additional Thoughts: Ladies and Gentlemen..if you aspire to be with a man/woman of quality, integrity and ambition, you must evolve into the best YOU can be! What do YOU bring to the table?? NO man/woman of any worth wants to remain in the company of what they believe to be a king/queen only to discover they are all talk and no action..or that they complain about their lot in life but do nothing proactive. Or who have no plan, no dreams, no direction, no passion. ALSO, once you have evolved and have those qualities you expect/desire from a partner, be prepared to adapt those ambitions and attributes to the vibrations of your king/queen without changing your essence. That's partnership. That is working/building together, supporting, helping each other grow and work toward greatness as a team and as individuals. #SpeakItIntoTheUniverseAndWorkTowardTheVisionWithPositivity #RandomMorningThoughts HAPPY FRIDAY!!!!
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ON JEALOUSY:
* November 27, 2009 · I was having this conversation with a male friend earlier..Why is it that people feel threatened when ANyOne of the opposite sex talks to their significant other half with even an iota of general interest or concern..? It has happened to me many times..see I talk to everybody str8 from the heart..I say what I feel/think..but that does NOT mean I have hidden agendas!! It happened to a male friend earlier..any thoughts?
Cheryl Martin: Well after being married for 19 years...I could care less. But, one of my friends, she can't stand the fact of her husband talking to a female. Let alone him getting a letter from a female while he is in Iraq. (adopt a soldier) But, then again he's 24yrs old and she is 44 yrs old. Who is more mature? lol
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ON SOCIAL SITE PREDATORS (AND EASY PREY):
* September 15, 2014 · Across all of my (facebook) pages I have noticed that all it takes is for a dude to put up a status asking for every female's sexiest pics, specifically booty or cleavage shots "just for fun" and women fall over themselves to add theirs on..*raises one eyebrow and gazes at my sistern..um..realllly? I know you are grown but..reallly? Is that how it is nowadays (#NowIKNOWImGettinOld #IshSeemsDegradingToMe) Private is private but..public IS public..I know guys like pretty things but..if ya like him, take him behind a closed door and show him eeeverything..or send HIM a little sumthin sumthin to look at..nuthin wrong with that..but..sheesh.
ON "PLAYING IT COOL":
* June 29, 2015 · Never pays to "play it cool" if you like a man ladies. He may take you at your word and move on. If you like him, and he likes you don't play games..no wonder they get confused about signals! On the other hand, if you are not "on the market" so to speak, or interested in him "that way" dooon't be flirting and acting all cute etc..that too is confusing. Be str8 from the gate.
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ON "HOLDING ON" TO SOMEBODY:
* December 11, 2015 · I keep seeing these memes about "if you find somebody that x,y,z hold on to them and don't let go"..What the?? Really? You are going to chain them in a dungeon and never let them go? ("You're MINE mofo")..Sheewiz..Life doesn't work like that. Excuse me if I have it wrong but..I thought it had to be a two way deal..They kinda have to want to be there..right?
* August 9, 2015 · Hmm trying to think this concept thru..I always used to say (and truly believe) "you can lose a lover but you cant lose a friend"..In THIS day and age that is getting extremely debatable! You can lose a friend BECAUSE you aren't their lover. Also, people sometimes disguise themselves as friends . Plus a multiple of other scenarios. So..am I supposed to say fkk making friends and have multiple lovers who COULD be friends? The more I think about this upside down world and try to make sense of it the more confusing it gets. So I guess I'm better off sticking to making music and mindin' my biz as always..Nevermind figuring it out.
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ON PREGNANT TEENS:
* January 21, 2014 · My daughter says she has seen quite a few preggo girls wandering around her high school...smh..With all the safe sex campaigns and classes in school, people have learned nothing :(
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ON BREAK UPS:
* January 23, 2014 · Seeing The Captain and Tenillle get divorced is like watching your grandparents break up after you are grown. I don't know their personal issues but since they came this far in their partnership, isn't it a little late to be suddenly deciding you want a new life? (unless say, he's (or she's) messing around (at 71 and 73)). Shouldn't they just try and suck it up and stick it out/work it out fagawdsake?..39 years? They are nearly at the end of the road now..why die alone?
* June 10, 2013 · Thought of the day: Do not hate, hold a grudge against or wish ill on the one who you CLAIM stole your heart and left you with no hope of loving again..you gave that heart away freely, whether they wanted it or not!!!! If you had a choice, would you hold onto someone who did not love or want you just to please YOURSELF?? Think about it..how effing selfish can you get?? Shame on you. If you are mad that they have moved on by choice and were able to find happiness, instead of feeling glad that at least one of you found what they needed..then you do not deserve to exist on this planet..stop the egotism ppl..let folks find what THEY need..even if it is not YOU.
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ON EYES:
* November 5, 2015 · #Confession: I love looking into the eyes of an intelligent man. Knowledge is a magnet..Nottt talking sexually, I'm talking about intellectually..It's just plain awesome to me.
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ON LOVE AND FOOD:
* July 3, 2013 · When you have eaten the best meal in your life cooked by somebody that caught your heart long before you ate, its hard to forget that meal. You may end up having trouble facing food or you may gluttonize but no matter what you try, it just cant satisfy you like that one special meal. You can lie to yourself and anybody else who serves you but that one meal will always stay with you. (Its a concept for one of the tracks of course.)
* January 27, 2015 · I love when a man who is good at it cooks for me..It's like a holiday, a breath of fresh air and like being queen for a day all rolled into one..A super rare privilege!
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ON AWARENESS AND RESPONSIBILITY:
* May 30, 2016 · Some people need to stop chasing the beautiful, luring objects of lust that turn you into animals like a werewolf at full moon..and open your eyes to the ones who have consistently shown friendship, respect, heart and loyalty. Calm yourself, sit down and embrace the real.
* June 8, 2013 · Ladies remember this..a boa constrictor feels lovely and sensual wrapping around you until it starts to squeeze the last breath out of you...but hey..you knew it was a boa constrictor before you stupidly draped it around you right? Who are you gonna blame when the lights go out? That boa was just doing what it does naturally..You encouraged it..Made it easy.
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ON ONE SIDED LOVE:
* February 4, 2015 - One sided love is not love..its obsession. Being "IN" love is only possible with two consenting people feeling the same. This is not to be confused with being in lust, which is also a common affliction which affects warm blooded mammals. You can choose not to love..it can be done..but you can also learn to care about someone with fondness, in a state of toleration, which is how most long term relationships eventually work..isn't it? #RandomThoughts
* February 11, 2012 · Some things, some people, some destiny-choices I will never understand. Both men and women seem to strive for what they can never have. They cause themselves untold pain aching, wanting, hungering. So much wasted energy/emotion..while the ones they COULD have they don't want any part of..and the world goes round and round and round and.........
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ON BEING "HEAD OVER HEELS":
* February 4, 2015 · Something about humans when they fall in love..the rest of us have to wait until their sickness starts to get better and the stars leave their eyes to get them to see clearly again.
* October 24, 2014 · Folks..Just because you start a sexlife, relationship, family life etc with somebody..does not mean you need to shut down every other part of yourself..I see it going on all around me. You are focused on "that person"..good for you..pat yourself on the back..But don't shove everybody else who cares about you into a box and slam the lid. You don't need to become so obsessed that life doesn't matter anymore..Cut that out..and so help me, if I get with a man and act like that, take me out to pasture and shoot me..you have my permission.
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ON RESPECT:
* February 11, 2017 · I can't tolerate women who speak disrespectfully to men...or vice versa..but it makes me mad as hell to see a good man take that just because he believes he's gonna hit it later. Stop it..
* April 30, 2015 · By law of averages a man casts his net out further, wider and far more often than a woman..He is rejected about 50 times to a woman's 1. They have to work harder just to get a smile let alone anything else. Yet women are always complaining that they are waiting for prince charming. All heterosexual females are guilty of that at some point in their lives. So let's look at statistics my sisters. How many men have you glared at, been rude to or blocked the minute he tried to say hello? I used to. I'm not looking for love but there's plenty of room in the friendzone! But ijs..there's plenty of princes out there who are waiting to be kings..and they can't even get a smile from us ladies who are busy being defensive. #RandomThought
* March 6, 2015 · No woman should ever have hate for, be jelly of or speak badly of a man's or her man's baby mama(s). No matter what, they will always be a part of his life and his children are (Or should be) his top priority even over you! So if your friend or your man has children, you better suck that up and learn to be respectful of that woman and stay in your lane regarding his family.
* January 10, 2016 · This is a fact about me some are not aware of. If i can't/don't respect you I cannot love/care about you. If I allow my wall to come down for you it is bcs I see or have seen something in you worth respecting.
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ON SERIAL DATERS:
* February 13, 2014 · Here's the difference between men and women. If I see a dude has had multiple short term relationships back to back, or even overlapping..and maybe has recently broke up with the last one, I would (now that i'm old enough to know better) avoid him like the plague. Most men I know, if the situation was turned around, would immediately make a str8 line to get her # and take it from there..Yup uh huh..like honey to a bee. NOT ALL have the same mindset of course..of either sex..ijs
* April 8, 2013 · Never could figure out why people pump and dump the best people and keep looking for new challenges..Meanwhile complaining there's no good men/women around..No muffukka you threw 'em all away..stfu smh!!!
* January 15, 2012 · Watchin from the sidelines..I see too many people with stars in their eyes telling the world and apparently truly believing he/she is the man/woman of their dreams. Yet by the time one declares a break, one or both are already moving into the next bed, relationship, marriage etc. Hormones + fear of being alone = disaster. There are enough babies and single parent families in the world..Use ya brain.
* May 29, 2016 · People be killing me with this blatantly public "on to the next one" attitude if they hit a bump in the road with a relationship..and they cry about not having a man/woman in their life..FIX IT OR SHUT UP AND TAKE A BREAK FROM THE WORLD UNTIL YOU GET ALL THE ANGER, RAGE AND HATE OUT OF YOUR DANG SYSTEM! Hold the mirror up to yourself and see what you're doing..If you're happy alternating between bed hopping and crying rivers, fine but be prepared to keep being served the same lesson again and again until you get your mind right.
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ON PRIVACY:
* February 13, 2014 · Should you even want to know what a man gets his woman for Valentine's Day, or does for her etc? Why should these misty eyed couples want to run to facebook and tell everybody? Spend THAT time makin' sweeet luuuv with your significant other instead of running to the keyboard. That right there is time way more valuably spent! It should be a private thing. Share it with each other. AND for the rest of us romantic-at-heart-but-single folks..just let folks you care about know what they mean to you personally...not sexually..but from the heart.
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ON "COMPETING" FOR LOVE:
* May 6, 2013 · If two or more women like the same guy, why is it they secretly hate each other to the point where they will watch each other mess up with him and feel elated when 'she' fails with him and is out of the way so she can "compete". Does it ever occur to women that 'he' may have feelings about who he would like to be with? Let HIM make the decision on that. If you truly like the guy and don't have control issues you will back WAY off in that way and be supportive. THEN if it doesn't work out it's not like you were in there willing it to fail. *Sista donna is testifying..I would rather stay a nun in the church of music than be one of those back stabbing bitches or be around a guy with no eye for me specifically.
* July 1, 2015 · Correct me if I'm wrong but it seems to me most men (or at least the ones I have known) are attracted to the females that have all the fuss and other men buzzing like flies around them, so that their competitive side can feel victorious if/when he "wins" her attention. Loyalty, continuity and morals do nothing to bring a good woman attention from a man she likes nowadays. It accounts for nothing. If you don't get out, put out, be loud and flirty, you may as well watch every man you are interested in from behind a stained glass window..No chance.
* February 22, 2015 · Why do women feel they have to fight to get/keep a man..or that the only way to 'get' a man is to give them 'everything' as quickly as possible, including a child, every imaginable part of their body, dull their shine or ingratiate themselves to keep his attention.? Has society scared women so much by continual assertions that there are more women than men in the world? Ladies want a faithful man in their lives but sleep with every available man trying to 'get' one. What message does that give men in general? It gives them the message that women are a dime a dozen and not to be trusted..so its ok for them to do the rounds. People need to look at their own hands and stop blaming everybody else for what they don't have. Ladies, calm down..value yourself and let men see you shine..flesh is flesh..show him what else you have going for you. #RandomThoughts
ON SPEAKING UP FROM THE FRIENDZONE:
* October 8, 2011 · Why do all the best guys go after the worst women?..over and over again..?! If you are a woman/friend who sees it happen and say something, you are deemed to be (according to the world) a) after him yourself b) a "typical woman" who doesn't want to see anybody happy if it ain't her or c) a retarded bitch who can't mind her business. The same responses hold true if a female/friend sees a girlfriend messing up and tells her she needs to str8n up/treat her man right..So NO..Let him have his moment of joy, when the clouds of lust and dust settle maybe they will both grow up and get it right.
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ON BOYS VS MEN:
* February 23, 2014 · Random parable/analogy MofoHari style...A boy will walk into a bakery and want it all..He will try to buy everything his allowance will let him have, eat it all..maybe end up sick or so addicted to the sugar that he spends the rest of his youth tryin every sweet thing he can get his hands on. A man will walk into the same bakery, see and appreciate how delicious everything looks but he will have an idea what he wants, he'll have the experience and knowledge to know what ingredients make the best cake to suit his taste and hunger, choose that one, then go and savor it..He will make that cake last..looking, smelling, licking slowly, nibbling, rolling that flavor around on his tongue..
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ON GAMES:
* February 12, 2015 · I have always wondered why some men eternally fall for or chase women who, treat them either badly or half heartedly, try to change them, put them down and don't appreciate them, and disregard the ones who are happy to be happy to be around them, respect and accept them as they are. I guess it's the size of the booty and the challenge of the mind and sexual chess game that draws them..to keep them on their toes?
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ON SIDE PIECES, PLAYERISMS AND CHEATING:
* April 8, 2015 · I'm seriously, honestly confused...Men, why does it seem that in this country having a side piece is normal, natural and even admirable? Ladies, it takes two..Why does it seem like women in this country allow themselves to get into a relationship KNOWING they are the non entity 'Other Woman'? And accept that as normal and perfectly ok? I honestly don't get it. I'd do a Jazmine Sullivan move if I discovered I was a side ho..and I damn sure wouldn't consent knowingly..If a man has a woman, as far as I'm concerned all other women should be keeping their fool hands off. And you men who mess on your woman need to be cursed with boils and aids....Behave yaselves out there!
* April 10, 2017 · Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar..YOU stole the cookies from the cookie jar... lmao..Fellas..WHEN will you learn??? Keep your hands out of somebody else's jar when you have a perfectly capable cookie baker at home! I see too many of my facebook pals effing up. Stop that! Hell hath no fury like a homemade cookie scorned lol *Austin Powers voice ..ohh beehave.
* May 20, 2008 · is thinkin how retarded men are sometimes.
* August 19, 2016 · #RandomThought If the man of your dreams is a playa, you have two choices..Either go play WITH him..or wake up.
* October 16, 2011 · When I see a man who messes with any girl who lets him I get turned off..I mean really turned off..godbless him for not bein gay and godbless the females who are happy for a fly-by-knight ufckbuddy..But leave me alone..I am not her..why? Because I prefer a little continuity and a lot of respect.
* June 29, 2013 · No girl likes to know her man has slept with every female from here to china..and back..any more than a man like to think his woman is a hoe..Ish just doesn't sit right with most people no matter how you paint it up. The leopards of both sexes want the other to think their spots have suddenly dropped off just for them because they are soooo special lol..Stay single folks, unless you know for sure what ya getting into.
* January 13, 2013 · Some dudes be laughing about single females who praise the lawd at church being the hottest between the sheets..I see the same men posting up naked pics of women, or posing with them, cursing like a mofo, talkin ridiculous ish..then in the next breath talking religion and how saved they are..*scratches head. #PickALane
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ON NOSINESS AND SECRECY:
* July 8, 2014 · I'm one of the UN nosiest people ever..serious talk. I never touched my ex's personal stuff, his mail, listen in to his private convos, his wallet..EVER. When a male friend asked me to get into his private social accounts or deal with a bill when he was unable to, I literally focused on the task and did not WANT to look anywhere other than where told to..That is not my bizness..at all..so why look for trouble or something you might not want to see? If I have to feel suspicious of somebody's character or movements whether a relationship or friendship I'd rather not be around that person..Can't understand the mindset of people who stalk and spy on their own people. A lot of women and even some men I used to know tend to twist reality and make trouble where there was none..
* February 18, 2015 · Sheeesh..Why all this secrecy and sneaky shit with couples? If a man and I like each other enough to be in a joint situation, what I have is his..Eff that hiding passwords and pin numbers, deleting messages from cell phones, goin thru his pockets and opening his mail..That is insane to me..Give each other space to breathe..If you don't trust them don't be with them..Simple.
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ON COMMITMENT:
* July 2, 2012 · I am not a selfish woman..when I say I choose to remain alone and not dating right now, it's only because if my future or location is uncertain, why establish a relationship and then have to mess things up by moving on? I'm not like that. When I commit to somebody or something it's not without a very good reason. I'm not about 'try it you might like it'..I'm getting too old to play games so I need to be sure he likes me as a person, appreciates my body, (and not just cuz I'm female but because it's attached to 'me') and is willing to accept all that I am, all that I can and will be. Just as I need to be in a position to give ALL of my heart and meet him halfway in all things..Love is not a game..I gotta mean it before I profess it. It may be too late in life for me to see that happen but I'm cool with it. If it is meant to be, it will be..That's not resignation, that's saying.."I'm here and give you all that I am as a friend". To me family and friendship is knowing we share that love but they will never walk by my side. A lot of my songs have been written with this realization in mind. This is probably too much for people to read lol..Just sat here let my fingers translate for my heart and thoughts.
Kevin Vekcmd Harrity: trust me...u aint missin nothin...! then again,who likes 2 b alone...but,then again,again...who wants somebody in they face all day also:) peace 2 u ms.donna, 1 of the strongest women i knw n admire!!
Donna H Mofohari: blessings family..i appreciate your thoughts!! basically i haven't quite given up on the human race..in no way am i afraid to share my life..but life circumstances have to be stabilized and we would have to fit right..like be able to (to use somebody's phrase that we both know) be not only "in toleration' of each other but appreciation and respect of each other..we have to click and i believe if we found each other we would both 'just know' without questioning or breaking it down..hell..listen to me..i can dream lol!!!
Kevin Vekcmd Harrity: in these days ppl r so hard 2 read when tryn 2 question yalls compatibility...patients is important in that area 2 c if trust can b existed 2 form a relationship...its almost like employment if u consider it lol
Donna H Mofohari: thats a good point! i guess when you think about it a relationship could be like a business partnership with 'benefits' and emotions added on lol
Kevin Vekcmd Harrity: maybe...but i couldnt compare the 2...i believe love is love all by itself cuz i would trust my other over a business partner any day lol
Donna H Mofohari: awww yea i feel you :))
ON PHYSICAL ATTRACTION:
* July 24, 2015 · Here's a question: If there are supposedly more women than men on the planet, why do so many men surround one woman like she's an egg and they are the swimming sperm? While others don't even get a second glance. Seems a little..oxymoronic? (If that's the right word?) My guess would be that most men are visual creatures and are drawn like a magnet to t+a before her mind, character, talents, internal attributes..please enlighten me if i am wrong.
C.t. Fowler Attractions start with the physical.....shouldnt maybe be that way, but it just is. I had this convo with wifey just last night....you never ever heard no chick say....damn, look at that dude...i bet he know how to a work a 401k, i bet he nice as hell too, bet he would open a door and everything. ........and you never heard a dude talkin bout....yo son, check her out...she look smart as hell....i bet she could help me organize my finances and scraighten up my life son!!! It just is what it is....the world dont work that way....and its sad
Donna H Mofohari good point! so i guess it really is all about the law of attraction..i.e physical..then once you have his attention show him what you have that makes you stand out from the bimbos lol
C.t. Fowler I guess.....man look, im a very fortunate man...im married to my soulmate.....so maybe im off course on this....but i know how i felt when i was single....also...and this may be the biggest issue with men....we have an inherent NEED to conquer. I said that and i stand by it. No matter what, men feel the need to conquer......some control that urge and some dont....but if a single man sees a whole gang of dudes pushin up on a woman, the natural instinct is to think...let me show them all, let me be the one
Donna H Mofohari thank you for your comment! its good to hear these things right from the sources themselves. and its awesome that you found and married your soulmate!!! in this crazy world its good to have that one you can trust and come home to.
C.t. Fowler Im just blessed......im a hard man to be with and i know it.....but yeah, im blessed
C.t. Fowler True story....i met my wife online...lol....way before facebook or myspace or any of that. There were yahoo chat rooms.....when you entered or left the room it would say...so and so jones has left the room, and their profile pic would pop up....so.....one night i was online and she left a room i was in, i was just like damn, she look good to me....so in the split second i had before she logged off i just sent a message that said...BYE......lol....so she talked back to me.....we started taking online a lot...then i called her...she called me.....we kept talking.....we really started feelin each other so i took a trip and visited her....that went great so she came and visited me....we kept talkin and visited again.....long story short, i moved to be with her right at Thanksgiving of 1999.....we have lived together ever since and have been married 11 years now......lol....crazy but true
Donna H Mofohari THAT is amazing to me..sounds like it was definitely fate! but also proves your point about appearances bein the first point of attraction. :D So good to hear a success story that started from an online meeting too.
C.t. Fowler Dont get me wrong, i will love her forever even if her face burned off tomorrow. ...but yeah, if i was not physically attracted to her that very first convo, there would not have been a first convo
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ON BEING IN LOVE WITH LOVE:
* September 8, 2016 · If more people stopped being in love with the idea of love and learned to like each other the world would be a better place.
ON RELATIONSHIP BUILDING:
* April 1, 2015 · I remember a time when people liked each other and socialized. Couples got together and built a relationship naturally. There was a time when you could get a job based on previous experience. Nowadays people, including prospective spouses and employers, feel like they need to background check each other, including pee tests and full medical checks, exams etc The government collects your data underhandedly and phone taps and spy cams are the norm. Eff this "advanced society and the technical age"..If I had a choice I'd rather live on a private island with a few people who are more about living, tolerating, accepting and moving forward..
* April 7, 2012 · Maybe I'm naive but, I thought the whole idea of being in a relationship was to give up the single life to be with the ONE person you wanted most to be with. It seems the world has rewritten life rules as I believed them to be. Some of these people in cheat-mode are mentally immature to the point where they are still living in that childhood mind frame of seeing how much they can "get away with". If you feel like you gotta have extra pussy when you have a lady who loves you, you are with the WRONNGG person. Let her go! If you start sneaking around with men when you have a man who trusts you, you don't deserve him..Let him go!
* March 11, 2016 · I Cannot and will not "mess" with any man "just because I can". There is way more depth to me than that. I don't need sex for entertainment purposes. I'm one of these boring, oldschool females who needs to see and feel something in someone before stepping over that line that changes everything for good or bad forever. Aaand I CAN relate that to my creativity..that's why it's called "building"..because it should have a direction, purpose and joint goals. I experimented with both in the past with no feeling attached and both led nowhere..dead end. So Nah..keep on with your bad selves if you are "doin it and doin it and doin it well" and I will keep on bein' creative over here.
* March 24, 2016 · I don't feel any burning desire to "take over" the world..Just do well in it and build an empire with somebody that means something to both of us. My desires are to enlighten myself and a few minds along the way. Be able to laugh together. That is IMPORTANT WITH A CAPITAL "I". I was just thinking this morning that where my life appears to be heading, it would be awesome to be with a man one day who could/would embrace my weaknesses with my strengths, my dark times with my light, share the struggles and hi 5 when "we" succeed in overcoming obstacles. It's all a learning process. I'm always willing to listen, accept correction, give my thoughts/advice, share passions..and grow. All that I ask for I could and would return..with pleasure. Partnership (as opposed to a solely physical relationship with "no strings or emotional attachments" like so many aspire to) should come naturally, never forced, never with trepidation or reservation (although BOTH should be willing to work at it and toward joint goals). Toleration should be give and take. Space and individuality respected. Respect, light-heartedness, mutual appreciation, quality together time, and fun being the glue that would bind. No it is not impossible and not too much work if the scaffolding of mutual appreciation is intact.
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ON INDEPENDENCE:
* December 17, 2015 · "Independent" does not mean you don't need anyone. Wanting to remain single for the time being has nothing to to with independence. Independence means you can do for yourself and conduct yourself and a workload without depending on others to make you feel alive or in order to do "anything"..I'll stop there..too much to say on the subject.
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ON SEX AS A SPIRITUAL EXPERIENCE:
* October 14, 2013 · I am one of those women that most men will avoid knowing the truth..the truth is if I have a sexual relationship with a man it's a very personal, spiritual and emotional thing. If I even get into a situation where sex might happen I will already have known him awhile and felt an affinity and connection.. Yea..so miss me with what 95 % of the rest of the world do. That is why I've been single so long. Folks just don't have time to put into developing solid relationships these days. I tried it the other way years ago thinking maybe I had it wrong..but eh..I didn't..Gotta live with myself.
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ON ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS:
* November 16, 2010 · This is a q for anybody..(I know men have this situation too)..Have you ever been in an abusive relationship, mental or physical? How did you deal with it..? I was around somebody years ago who was a drug abuser who, when lit would hit, spit on me, yell abuse, held a loaded gun at my head once, and set the clothes on my back on fire with a lighter (on the same occasion). It took me a couple of months to get the nerve to walk away from that bs..Why? Mentally he had broke me down to a point where I was almost convinced I 'deserved' to be treated like that. A drugged up/drinked up teenager can be more vulnerable and mind controllable. That's effed up and one good reason I prefer a str8 mind. Your vision and outlook is a whole lot clearer!..Clearer thinking plus maturity changes perspectives..(Oh yea..p.s...He died a few years later from drug od -)
ON TEMPORARY RELATIONSHIPS:
* May 4, 2013 · I have come to the realization that my mind is worse than messed up..My misspent youth must have reaaaallly knocked the ish out of my brain cells. What I see is that everybody around me views relationships, partnerships or friendships as temporary. People seem so wrapped up in multiples and multiplying that division becomes par for the course. I don't give my trust, mind or heart easily but when I do I trust that you will not backstab, knife twist or hurt me unnecessarily, because that is not something I would dream of doing. This is where I'm messed up. When I give my friendship in any format, like real time shit..I'm doing it after believing there is a mutual bond there..see? Told you my brain was messed up!!!! Those things don't seem to exist..People seem to move on without batting an eye..
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Q+A ON REASONS FOR HAVING SEX:
* November 16, 2010 - General q+a to my sisters: Examine why you give it up to him, when you do. To avoid loneliness? Because he 'expects it'? Because it is easier than saying no? To avoid argument/fear of conflict? For his approval or so he'll like u better? To make yourself feel more attractive/womanly? Do you genuinely like him and it is the natural next phase of this friendship? If he's a playa and you are aware of this, do you still want him with you? Would you put up with it in a relationship? If you like HIM and he's acting 'ehh'..what do you do? If he likes YOU and you don't feel it, what do you do? Let me know your thoughts (IDEA FOR A SHOW) (side note..there were no responses on this occasion)
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ON CHOICE AND EXPENDING ENERGY WISELY:
* January 28, 2013 · Wouldn't it be awesome if the people we like, wanted to work or be with, felt the same way about us 100% of the time? Since that just will never ever be the case, your circle of friends or individual relationships must at least be worthy of those emotions or energy you give them..If not, then we are projecting a useful part of ourselves onto a brick wall, expecting it to yield fruit - mofohari
* August 5, 2011 · As women we have more sexual 'choice' and yes, in a sense 'power' than men. More men get rejected by women than the other way around. One man told me he would want a woman to stand up and say "you are crazy if you dont go ufck that dude". Yet if a man said that to me about a man I would mentally blow his brains out. There are so many differences in how we think, but at the end of the day the chemistry should be allowed to think and act for itself..as long as nobody is getting hurt of course.
* January 27, 2010 · Outacontrolness out there..Sheww..Crazy old world..Ladies only your mind and actions decide if you are a ho or not a ho..DONT BLAME THE ALCOHOL or HIM. If you put it out there on a plate do you expect men to refuse it? If they put it out there and you want it, fine..Do what you gotta do. If he puts it out and you dont want it..step away from the plate..SIMPLE ..If he got it, you want it..take it and dont complain what folks say..IT'S YOUR CHOICE.
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ON LEADING SOMEONE ON:
* July 31, 2011 · I talk to a lot of people of both sexes. More men than women are telling me that females lead them right up to the act of sex, with kissing, touching, playing..then stop em saying.."I can't coz I have a boyfriend" (etc)......wtf is going on ladies???? Why put him and yourself in that situation?? That is like handing him a gun and saying "Shoot me. I dare you..."
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Q+A ON THE PITFALLS OF LOVE/RELATIONSHIPS:
* January 22, 2010 · What happens when one man has the 'love' of more than one woman and his heart feels no love? What happens when one woman is 'loved' by several and she wants none but the one who doesn't want her? What happens when one man loves one woman and she doesn't appreciate it? This is why 'love' sucks THIS is why 'love' is hereby stricken/banned from the CME's own edition dictionary FoREVERRRR ahahahaahaaaa *sinister laughter*
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ON "LIKE" VS LUST:
* January 23, 2013 · People would probably have a better track record if they would be with someone who actually like 'them' rather than just a part of their anatomy. When the world figures that out I'll be laughing from a cloud, playin my harp.
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THE DEFINITION OF "LOVE":
* March 2, 2015 · "Love" should never be an expectation, end goal of any human, mental, physical or sexual connection, should not be that thing you wistfully search the ends of the earth for. That thing which you search for is inside you already. If you even subconsciously withhold it from yourself for whatever reason, you will not know how to or be able to shift it outward to family, friends, or a life companion. Too many mistake lust for love. Lust is like a firework that you light and turns out to be either a dud or a beautiful explosion..but eventually spends itself.
Love is an affection that comes from one place only..right in the middle of your chest, and is designed to last. It comes from the deeper place, like when you hear a dope song..you know where it hits you? Yup, it starts right there..But it's yours, nobody can take that. If you choose to share your heart with somebody who you feel connected with mentally and maybe even lustfully, it CAN happen if that person feels the connectivity and is open to it..but its never a given. You can't force the realness of connection like that. It's not the end of the world to continue to love yourself without chasing the rainbow, or the shooting star. It's not a "right", you can't demand it from anyone..you share yours because you have enough TO share, with friends, family and maybe even that one significant other who shares theirs too. If not, hey..just remember YOU are covered. Nobody can take away the essence of what's in your own heart. And it's your job to keep that growing. #RANDOMTHOUGHTS
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ON UNDERSTANDING INTENTIONS:
* April 14, 2016 · Here's something a lot of men will not comprehend, respect or appreciate. When I (and many other women of like mind) invite a man over, say for a music session, or to join in on a live radio show or for whatever reason stated..It is just that. It is not a "challenge" or an invitation because she wants you but is too scared to tell you..NO..none of that. Those that do respect that and don't disrespect genuine intentions go up in my estimation by 99 1/2%. If I had any "OTHER" reason for inviting a man in..they..and I..would know well before that..as in a longggggggggggg time before that...a fkkg lonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggtime before THAT! #Knowdat
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ON LOVING GESTURES FROM A PARTNER:
* February 14, 2015 · Seriously? If a man wanted to please me with some kind of gesture in a moment of generosity? I'd rather he bought or did something for me that made HIM happy..Like say, a body spray or perfume scent HE would love to smell on me, or make me a meal, or take me somewhere private for some focused, neutral-zone conversation time, or some item of clothing he would like to see on me..or play with my hair and do it up for me in a way he would like to see it done..or take me out somewhere intimate and slow dance with me..oh lawd I've never had that luxury and always dreamed of it..Something he thought of personally. NOT just buy chocolates or flowers, or something somebody suggested "all women would like". I would want to see his eyes light up because what he did for me made him happy as much as me...ijs..fellas..I can't be the only one who feels like this..so..YW..Go get her tiger..
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ON ATTITUDES:
* January 15, 2011 · Women have a habit of actin all shocked and horrified when they see a man stray from his lady..but when a woman sees a man she wants that she knows is with somebody EVEN HER OWN FRIEND, she will be more devious, more underhanded and secretive than any male to get his attentions..Wow, the lengths women will go is way more phenomenal than any a man would go (in my observations..)
* January 15, 2010 · Real life question: Scene 1: Two women sharing a place together - One has a man coming to see her and one has not..How does the second woman normally react?; Reverse scenario..two men sharing a place - One has a female over, how does the second man react? Scene 1: Female hates, wants her friend's undivided attention, OR a male to see her too. 2nd scenario: Second man goes out on his own, no prob..Am i correct? What is your experience? (s/n: no responses)
* January 27, 2015 · Ladies..If a man cares enough to tell and show you who he is, and warns you that he has no intention of settling down with one woman..and you still go ahead and mess with him and catch feelings..do you have any right to go evil on him? Do you have any place to feel broken and cheated on when he continues to play a wide field? You made the choice to dance with the devil.. Whaat?? You say you thought he would change 'for you?'..If something about you clicked in him he would have been ready to change before you even knew you were going to have sex. Wake up ladies! You make it too easy for men to pump, dump and laugh about it. If their hormones are working their seductive magic on you cool..do what you gotta do..Just don't cry when you realize you will never be the one n only.
* February 20, 2017 · Why is it that nine times out of ten, when there is a break up or when a woman "feels or thinks" she has been done wrong, she will take to facebook or any other public site, drag his name across the mud, slam his face in the dirt and then openly flirt to attempt to insult him further..Whereas..(again nine times out of ten), a man will keep it to himself, behave with dignity and move on? Women..we must ALL do better. You are making us look bad. That is all.
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ON RANDOM FLIRTING:
* February 20, 2015 · Women be killing me flirting with men on facebook randomly..Umm you better find out if he's married or not..His wife will fillet your ass and cook it for dinner..sit yo ass DOWN!
