MofoHari

                              BLOGS  QUOTES  and  POETRY 

                                        I have passions, no vices
                            I make love with strangers on recording devices
                                  I'm a mother, a poet, a queen unseen
                            Know where I'm going and respect where I've been
                                Life pulls no punches but I'm living the dream.                                                                                                      - MofoHari

Building Momentum!!!  October 2017

Looking back and following up from the January 2016 blog, life has taken some very positive turns in many ways. January through October 2016 saw me pushing on with my music projects, continuing to build with pioneers on Radio Zero, searching for full time employment and training for additional skills. Late September brought excellent news in the form of a new job, training commenced October 3rd, lasting until the first week of December. 

With my hands more than full at this point, broadcasting the show (Radio Zero) unfortunately needed to take a back seat while I readjusted to my new life/job. We still go live whenever there is a speaker/co-host with a story to tell, message to share. But that's just how crazy life can be. You just never know what blessings will come and you need to be open and ready to receive them!

MEANWHILE I continue (into the fourth year) working on the "Hidden Dreamz" album. That too has taken a beautiful little unexpected twist, with production from some of the greatest producers out there, Easy Mo Bee, Nick Wiz, Da Beatminerz, DCypha, Rkitech, Chrismorale, Supreme Da Almighty, Mr Jack, Wyze Intellect, Mr Amin (A-Ra), Dirk Digga, ATHoven (aka Akil Sharp) and many more! And ohh the collabs are turning out incredible!!! Don't get me started!!!! Let me just say you have some wonderful surprises for you and leave it there for now as I work toward the album's release in mid 2018. ;)  

OK so! With any album release there must be performances and this is the current mission on top of everything else going on. Venues, DJ's and artists are being contacted, budgets being strictly planned (Yep I'm a budget-limited one woman army but hopefully will have some sponsors for some of the shows by then..working on it!).

This is where we are at in October 2017. Much excitement ahead. I'm claiming this abundance/these gifts from the universe with open arms, continued hard work and a whole lot of gratitude. Let's go!!! 

Long Way Up!!!  January 2016

MofoHari has her fingers in a few sockets at the moment.  It's time to GET this "abundance" that I keep speaking into the universe!  Yup, I'm GOING TO get these roots firmly in place!  At a deeper level I never  questioned or doubted that the path was the right direction, but the road does get awful rocky when you are on the edge with rocks shifting, pebbles under your feet falling into the abyss and landing a trillion miles below,  while people who don't have your best interest at heart keep throwing them at you from a distance to make you lose balance so they can laugh when you go down. 

Here's an analogy although it is a true story. Years before I even went to the UK I was with a couple of guys who were doing rock climbing with ropes, pics..all the stuff I know nothing about. I waited below. When they were halfway up, one shouted down "Donna bring me up that wedge there..” (or whatever the heck thing it was). Without hesitation I grabbed it and scrambled up the rock, not looking back. The guy suddenly saw me and looked surprised. "Uhmm..I was just kidding"..he says. "How the hell did you think you were going to get back down?!"..At which point, looking behind me, I saw how far up I’d come and shuddered, suddenly terrified and filled with self questioning. They paused in their climbing to tie a rope around me and get me back down sensibly. 

But that's how I do sometimes. Leaps of faith..passion..eagerness. I don't think before I jump. Excitedly I throw seeds and hope something takes. Yes planning and organisation are important too and fortunately I have evolved since then!!! But the eagerness and passion are still there. I still exhaust myself with the pushing at times and start to question myself but always get back up and keep moving, keep following my dreams, my heart. That’s how life works, at least how mine does! Trial and error. Learning and growing. Pushing forward continually first and foremost for my family and always with a view to doing some good for people I care about or who have helped me along the way.  

Quotes:

RIVER WALK   September 26, 2016

Finally dropped what I was doing and went for a walk to the river. Sitting here in my spot watching some grey squirrels start to forage, I remain restfully motionless as they pass warily near my feet. They stop to glance to see if I am a threat..Nope!..So they scurry busily on around me. Ducks quacking happily in very low tide are walking rather than swimming. Further out on the river sailboats glide past majestically. The gentle breeze billowing their sails, makes them appear for all the world like those little toy boats we all blew across our bathtubs as children.

Couples walking hand in hand and families pass behind me. Children can be heard chattering excitedly while mom laughs and says "Yesss..we're at the river!" in an amused attempt to mimic the excitement of her child. Wispy clouds overhead look as if an invisible hand is creating some grand oil painting as they shift and change shape and intermingle with the dark tones and shades of a dull grey sky. As the breeze increases, it momentarily sends a chilly gust across my face, reminding me why I'd worn my blue "It's a Donna Thing..You Wouldn't Understand" hoodie.

Intriguingly, the leaves on the ground all up and down the river are brown and I think to myself how beautiful it will be here in a month or so when the falling leaves will be in full glory with reds, golds and oranges! It looks amazing in the heart of autumn!

The fishy swampish smell does not detract from the overall ambiance, while the faint sound of an ice cream truck's heralding tune somewhere in the distance adds to the unique blend of nature and city life. The environment is strangely contrasting, yet there is perfection in this spirituality/reality combination. Peace surrounds me here and I know I will soon have to leave and return to "responsibilities"..but at this moment I feel invisible and invincible.

              WORD PLAY AND POETRY

       ****************************************************************************

The Nature Of Progress  by MofoHari  

So many years wasted
So many fruits untasted
Endless schemes, dreams, life themes 
Simmer idly it seems
On the brain's back burner 
While striving hard as the family earner
I'm a visionary thinker but a real slow learner

Life won't stop just because we do
We won't succeed using magic or voodoo
Can't get rich quick with a Smith n Wesson
But by using our minds and all of our lessons
One step at a time (but) in quick succession

*********************************************************************************

QUOTES: 

*  I like the fact that, of every rap heavy hitter, those who have had longevity despite ups and downs, all of my personal favorites seem to be connected to each other in some way and both publicly and privately show each other love and respect. THAT is how it should be. Upstarts please take note. Hate is not necessary.
 
*  I know that not everybody enjoys being creative in the kitchen. But I will never understand how people can avoid having basic cooking skills, even if only for survival purposes! My daughter's dad feigned complete ignorance 99.5% of the time, yet when I was preggo he managed to whip up a rather lovely steak dinner, or cooked breakfast now and then. My daughter, a chip off the old block, proudly use to bring me breakfast in bed on the odd occasion when she was 7-8..and now, at 16 I get a side eye smile when I mention it, because she has been feigning complete and utter culinary helplessness since her teens with expertly executed selective memory mode fully engaged. Lol. When I get rich maybe I will hire a chef to wurk his magic three times a week..jusst for mee.  Just more ‪#‎HiddenDreamz
 
*  Something I have noticed about humans through much observation, is that they throw the core of a truth (i.e. Solid facts) around with an expert flip and twist to make it fit with how they want those truths to be heard. No wonder there are so many religions, so many bible translations, so much hate and division..just for that reason. Man speaks with forked tongue half the time and is convinced they are right. Lol. As for me details mean nothing. I don't care who did what for who in biblical times. I'm not interested in petty squabbles or which religion is "the way, the truth and the light". I feel my way like a blind woman, meaning my senses are alive and sharp. Spiritually I already know without a finger wagging, or a preacher thumping a bible at me or the holy spirit entering my body to enlighten me what feels "good", what feels "right" and what does not. To my mind instinct, emotions, senses and our natural spirituality, when we tune into ourselves and acknowledge it is the best guide. Those are attributes we were all pre programmed with that so many fail to tap into along with common sense and logic.   (Let me amend the line "i don't care about.." to read "irregardless of...", so people don't misinterpret what is being said to being flippancy toward biblical or religious history. It was not intended that way.)

 *  "Independent" does not mean you don't need anyone. Wanting to remain single for the time being has nothing to to with independence. Independence means you can do for yourself and conduct yourself and a workload without depending on others to make you feel alive or in order to do "anything". I'll stop there. Too much to say on the subject.

 * Funny how people will stop speaking with you if they feel they can't "use" you anymore in their chess moves or if they think you are not doing "enough" for them..but wait..did it ever occur that you could have been doing "more" for them? Yea yea yea..its all about you. That's the nature of you selfish, ego driven, over prideful, half-hearted, narrow minded, blinkered humans. Short term memories only. Good luck on the way back down..all the people who's heads you stepped on will be crossing arms and smiling as you pass.

 * Whatever you do in life..whatever makes you happy..whatever reminds you that you breathe and gives you purpose to breathe..do that ish and do it as big, as great and with as much love and passion as the tools inside and outside of you will allow. Don't be all talk..be about it. Don't waste it and don't doubt yourself or your instincts. If you are different to everyone around you or you don't have anyone to understand where your mind is..do it anyway. You may be ahead or your time. "They" may be sleeping, hating or just haven't had a chance to check out what you do. Plus you will NEVER be to everyone's taste anyway no matter what you do. Ultimately you have to love who you are and what you are doing and your reasons for doing it must be ultimately FOR YOU.. I'm not talking "selfishly", i'm talking about that thing that makes you whole..that connects you with yourself..that plugs you into that inner electricity and moves you forward with self awareness..that. Do that ish..just do it! I slept fitfully for the little time that I could sleep and a kind of weird revelation came into my semi dreaming brain, that life is nothing but a classroom. Some of us drop out. Some of us get taken out of school early. Some of us grumble thru every lesson and don't learn a damn thing. But wherever we walk or go in our lessons, it is all timed to perfection. We move on and somebody else steps into that class or has the same lesson. Time marches on. We need to take the lessons and keep it moving. Where we walk right now, another generation will follow, another class will learn, another human will be enlightened etc etc. Just learn and teach. Appreciate and absorb.
              ***********************************************************************                           * Confession: when I see people jumping from woman to woman or man to man..all I can do is go yeckk. Why not stick with one and learn them well? I see, I observe, I know what I do want and what I don't, which is why I leave most everybody alone. No, I'm not closed down to it all, but when somebody is willing to understand that an investment of my heart and time means that I'm here and aint going anywhere, they will be closer to understanding "me". I have a right to expect that I will be met halfway or full on by somebody of the same mind/heart. No, all good things do NOT have to come to an end..if humans can get past that they will have a more rewarding life.

* Whenever I see legends performing together it makes my heart and stomach feel crazy..NOT because of being star struck but because it shows they are still carrying the flag for Hip Hop and leading by example.

* Reflections: We used to have international music sessions by phone, taking turns playing tracks. Then  when I came over here, we were doing our radio show playing that good shit, getting lost in it while putting the shows together and live on air. (Spinning Chairs And Nodding In Time.) We had Music on blast all the way home in the car, too tired to speak. He focused on driving while my head nodded partly from exhaustion but still high from the night and senses still hungry for the mooosik.  I have experienced nothing like it before or since.  You Cannot Beat Or Replace Perfect Moments In Time...you just can't.

* Artists nowadays are in such a hurry to get on to the next track, next hit, everything hot off the press, always in competition in case somebody else gets one out before them. It reminds me of the movie "spirited away' where the parents got greedy with the spirit food and turned into pigs. Artists dont even check out the work of producers, they just be like 'gimme gimme..more more'..grabbin at whatever they can get. I could never ever work with a producer, or even take an instrumental without checking them out first. It wastes their instrumentals and time. I also need to know and communicate with the producer! Some have had to be super patient waiting for me to create with their beats but I will always communicate and involve the producer when I am able to get to work. The point is, a lot of the industry seems to be becoming a greedy monster with no real thought, planning or pre determined destination. Yes I know the internet makes everybody think life will end if you don't keep on top of it, but thats not reality..THINK ABOUT, RESEARCH YOUR MARKET, PLAN YOUR DIRECTION, KNOW WHAT YOU WANT TO ACHIEVE, LOOK FOR PRODUCERS AND PROFESSIONALS THAT CAN HELP YOU ACHIEVE JUST THAT..You don't need to run around all crazy..

* Do not treat every facebook friend, twitter followers etc like they are staunch supporters with enough love for you to promote for you, attend all your shows and show unlimited interest in what you do. That is how you lose people. I had to learn that lesson myself awhile ago.  Instead, see the majority of people who wander into your sphere as curious individuals or general music appreciators, potential supporters and network sources..its not always about you but more about the connections you make in your lifetime.

* #MofoHari's Random Thoughts of The Day: Being over humble or trying to show that you are is cheesy, not enough humility makes you look like an asshole..walk with pride, be interested in your chosen path because only you truly know where you want to be; grow and utilize your wisdom thru self and continual education, share with those who choose to learn and appreciate and forget the rest..I do not often quote the bible but there is a verse in there that says 'caste not your pearls before swine'..in other words, a lot of people could care less about you, your hopes/dreams and what you stand for..draw the ones around you that are worthy of and interested in learning from your thoughts and experience..

* So many people seem to long for, strive toward, pine about, dream of having someone to love, be with, build a life with, have a lasting relationship with, but can't even maintain consistent relationships with friends. "That's different" you say!? No its not! It shows me if you can't communicate with friends how are you going to be in a long term, close relationship..?! It shows your heart. Stop chasing butterflies and show love to people who care about you in the here and now. The rest will come in it's own time. Butterflies eventually land where they choose to land and when they feel safe. ‪#‎RandomSleeplessThought

 * Something interesting happens when there are no safety nets below to catch you, no family around to bail you out, no favors to call in and no cash reserves with which to build..that's when you must rely on the self..that's when you learn to really discover what the self is capable of, the strengths and the weaknesses that need to be addressed. Then and only then, in facing the challenges and beating the odds will you mature and become the whole person..the better person.. ‪#‎RandomWakingThought
 
‪*  #‎Random Morning Thought: There are many reasons people choose to be involved with music or creativity. For those who play at it or do it because they think it's an easy rte to the D or $, you will never understand the deep rooted PASSION that drives the rest of us..like a drug addict..to keep striving for the 'perfect high'. Or the pleasure in sharing the high and buzzing off the high you bring to others. And you will never understand the PAIN when you can't find the high you crave, either for/within your own creativity, or within the work of others that you know have the ability, skill and spirit to soar to the heights..but were shot down thru lack of flock support. Only complete dumb ass fools will say that artist(s)/those talented people that got shot down "weren't good enough" or cause them to doubt themselves to the point they believe that they weren't, because of your apathy or non support. I swear on my life ish like that makes me HATE you ignorant humans. Because you will support and put out the wackest crap, worst mixes, dumbest verses and pat each other on the back. Good job bruh good job..then complain about the state of the art. STFU, wash the blood off your hands and sit down. You don't deserve to call yourself hip hop. You don't deserve to have ears. I could go on. You have no idea how deep this feeling runs.
 
* I'm getting to an age where it makes me giggle to see folks faces get all red and angry. Eff it..oversensitivity kills.  If you want to give yourself a heart attack getting shook over a misinterpretation of something somebody said either in jest/humor or simply made a point you didn't agree with, go right ahead. If you want to explode over something that you probably twisted all up, remixed and fixed just so you could jump on it, go ahead..i'm good. Observation shows me who I don't need to be around. peace!
 
* I think all of us starving artists struggling to survive out in the "real world" should get together and start up a worldwide business utilizing all of our collective skills and imagination. Oh what an original thought. (lol)

* In this day and age with technology being what it is, things we say or do or throw up in written format for the public can, even some years later, come back to you. When that happens (and it has) i read what i said, not with regret, but with an amusement as a parent would see something a child or younger person would say or do and think how their thoughts, opinions, views etc would evolve in time. Yea..that..its not a bad thing to see old thoughts..just interesting to see if you still feel the same about those subjects or if you have advanced in your thinking. What have you learned in life? Have you grown or regressed? How have your thoughts evolved and why? What have your experiences, path, lessons done for you..anything at all? Also, Sometimes I listen back to my "positive message" songs and wrap myself in them when times are hard or during down times and it lifts/comforts/resets my mental outlook. Ahh life....

* Anybody who thinks I randomly chose to move from my home in the UK to NJ out of all places in the world..with my young child to go thru the worst bullshit any human can imagine, single-handedly among total strangers who don't give two rusty shits about you..needs to go jump off the GW bridge immediately.  I dreamed of London and Blackburn last night like I was a spirit flying over them seeing the places i was familiar with.  I miss "familiarity" in my life.  Familiar faces, voices..continuity..warmth from people who know me and care. Folks who are there when I need to talk. Folks who don't give up on you if you fall, knowing you always get back up.  People I want to be around that I trust opposed to random people who don't know who I am.  Eh..rant over..  *Drops mic and sits down.

* Got back to sleep and dreamed a man I didn't recognize but apparently my man and father of my unrecognized two kids, was drinking hard and on something else..he dragged me out of a busy restaurant..we must have been arguing, was in a dark rage, shaking and trying to drag me out of view..i knew he was gonna kill me. Mann with dreams like that who needs to watch horror movies? Time to get up and smile at being awake!
 
* A few things I've learned about a lot of people who use fb.. 1) they looove stirring up unnecessary drama 2) they looove seeking pity/sympathy/ego strokes/attention in any way they can get it 3) its apparently not as much about connecting for business purposes and professionalism these days as it is about aggressively forcing ish onto people with no regard for interaction. ‪#‎Observations
*  The world is filled with a billion and one causes, every single one apparently or unapparently affects us directly or indirectly. We would drive ourselves insane trying to act on every imperative situation or issue heralding impending doom for mankind. Yet the way the world would have us believe, it is somehow wrong or selfish to get our own life in order before all else. Shouldn't we put ourselves and immediate needs at the top of the priority list before we work on changing the world? Love yourself first, then the rest will fall into place.

* People are not pieces of paper, numbers, robots here to please or do your bidding, pieces of flesh sent from heaven to satisfy your carnal needs or animals to be hunted. People are not chess pieces or personal property that automatically are programmed to serve when you get papers on them. People are not inanimate anything. Every one is a warm, living, breathing human with emotions (whether displayed or hidden), experiences and lessons that created the character that they show you. Yea we all know we all write our own scripts but when you change the act or scene in your play, try not to leave a trail of bodies or destroyed hearts behind you. There are real life emotions involved in every life choice you make, every casual connection, in business, with family, with friends..remember this well because from what I see people brush a lot of things they do under carpets + treat others like they are unimportant "things", toys, figments of their creation etc.

* The thing we all as artists need to remember is that when we share our work and promote on groups or to others, it does not stop there. If you expect others to check you out or even care that you spent two years recording, or that the music is the hottest ish ever, then you need to respect THEIR hard work and realize there may be some sheeer dopeness that they put THEIR heart and soul into too. I spent a long time yesterday sharing my album on an infinit number of groups, so rest assured I will be revisiting every single one and checking out the work of other artists. It may take awhile but I'll get there. Respect is respect and love is love. That's hip hop!!!

* So...groups are STILL continuing with the g.o.a.t. elimination competition ish?! The 'Who was better' comparisons and other retardations. Indies are still puffin' out chests boasting they are the best..or kings/queens of the game..or their movement is set to conquer the world. Eff all that!!! Don't be drawn into the bullshit! There is NO ruler, there is no sovereign, there is no movement that will everrrr command the hip hop community or music as a whole! Stop all the yapping! Can't people just stfu and just make good music? Put your mic where your boastful mouth is..SHOW AND PROVE!!! Too many voices and not enough greatness.

* So often I wish I could shove a mic at some of my fb friends and press record. Some of you have some absolutely fascinating, interesting, intelligent or knowledgeable things to say in your statuses (Not the memes..i mean when it comes from your own brain.). Sadly people do freeze up when they are asked to illuminate their thoughts in 'Live' mode. I was one. Just as I had to learn to open up to communicating in writing, it was also a lonnnnnng process to accept that my verbal thoughts were equally, if not more important to some people..yea really! So..for me a lifetime of being shoved into the background and not heard had to be UNlearned. It's an ongoing process..but a liberating one!  AnD that same thing goes for all of you out there who think nobody listens or cares what you think, about your experiences, your stories or views. I FOR ONE love hearing what ppl have to say! So if I come at you with questions or showing interest, i'm not hitting on you dudes, or gathering info to steal your man ladies lol..So Speak up!

* Before you accuse or believe any artist/producer, of doing nothing productive, or has no 'current' work out, and think you are more relevant to the game than anybody else..STOP before you make a fool of yourself. DO YOUR RESEARCH!!!!  If you say you have no time for that then DO NOT claim you love music. You are a victim of your own failure to establish facts before you speak. You are an example of the many self illusionary prima donnas springing up all around in this business..congratulations.

* I wonder how many people in the music industry at any level realize how totally they can destroy people with empty promises and flaking after giving them hope..keep in mind while you are busy effing people around so are multiple others simultaneously..because sadly bad and inefficient handling of business is a serious epidemic in this industry..there is currently a very low bar set for standards of efficiency and excellence..Examine your own hands and learn to always conduct your own biz the way you would want others to conduct theirs with you. Raise the bar..yes it is important! I have seen the most skilled people annihilated..blown right out of the water due to some cold mofos who bs way too easily and no follow thru..

* No you are NOT required to like everybody you work with musically! That fallacY has destroyed the potentially best collabs in the history of music. If minor character flaws cause you to hold back you could be losing out on real opportunity. Stop being a diva and let the work speak for itself. I'm seeing too much foolishness around me..folks I would never expected to behave like crybabies or prima donnas..enough! Just make the goddamn music and stop letting communication issues destroy your future..smh #HugelyDisappointed in a lot of people who should know and do better.. 

* Platitudes can kill..actions Fulfill.. Print this out and tape it on your laptop until the light begins to dawn in your mind. Use it as your mantra once you understand.

* Conundrum of the day: Why would skilled and experienced artists who should by now know the meaning of quality, stop working with the best producers to go work with people who cannot mix tracks properly and claim they are proud of their work? I don't get it..*Scratches head very hard..stop the bullshit people..Bring back the quality!

* I wish women would support each other more. Women puff their chests out at each other more than men do..smh. It's bad enough that so many men think we are retarded alien creatures they can't do without, but for women to be proving their point by clawing at each other, backstabbing and competing over them..as i get older, the more insane it seems to me.

* If you work in this music industry and your foundations were not strong to begin with, you better make it a priority to get rock solid and have solid gold support who have their feet planted firmly on mother earth!!! If not believe me, you will eventually be eroded to hash dust..study your music history and tell me I'm lying...s/n as my people always said, seems like the majority of the most ingenious, super talented ppl have the worst lives or mental/personality/emotional problems..Get those foundations built..no wait..build your fortress and make sure you are not sucked into the destructive ish..stay on top of your game but also firing on all cylinders..#Random thoughts.

* Thought floating thru my head: I am troubled by the artists who accept beats and rap all over them without speaking to the producer about the intended structure. Then when the problems are pointed out they don't seem to care. Artists, if the producer says something is not right respect it and either fix it yourself, let him/her fix it for you, or explain/defend your reason/purpose for doing it that way so everyone is on the same page! To ignore the producers comments and post it up anyway is disrespectful. There is too much of that bad attitude nowadays..let's aim for quality people..sheesh smh!

* I keep searching for the good in everyone, but folks keep insisting on sticking that ugly side under my nose and flaunting it.  It might not register in your brain while you are hellbent on being an asshole that you have  WASTED RESOURCES.......

* I have producers and rappers with solid-gold skills in my network. That's right!..and I have preached the word countless times over at least eight years, if not more. Some of you duh-face stubborn mofos who insist on cringe making trap beats and overused industry beats think I'm tripping, being mean & nasty; Yelling and talking crap..smh. You are helping drive quality out of business..congrats. Oh, and for people who DO think I'm yelling..What do you think a football rally is for? To raise excitement & spirit for team support! Stop taking things so personal folks..I'm on your side.

* Things that you say or do..or don't say or don't do can affect people more than you can imagine. Just because YOU can't feel anything by your own actions does not mean its acceptable or that karma hasn't noticed the pain caused in others. Running away or hiding from the people you hurt will never save you. Karma has her own timescale but she doesn't forget. Wouldn't it be better to think about your actions and make it right with people before it comes to that? 

* People are so quick to diss ghostwriters. I look at it like this..every movie you see, every stage play, every television program..do you think they ad lib? Do you think they make the story up as they go? NO they tell the story and if it is performed convincingly you the viewer should believe and feel. Same with music..Yes even hip hop..We tell a story. If somebody writes that story and the artist spitting it makes it their own, then it is their own and you, the listener must be able feel and vibe with it. Yea yea, I know..always better to write for yourself if you can. An actor can act a part, an artist can spit, a singer can sing covers but all must make it their own for it to work!

* An artist is both blessed and cursed. Blessed with the abilities and skills of creativity, cursed that few who are not also artists or creative in some way can understand the drive, single mindedness and focus behind the creativity that drives us, which means that we usually end up riding solo on our path since soulmates are pretty much extinct.

* Even 'Regular' things can make a good story like coming out of a venue after a show...high as hell on the buzz, heading to the greyhound bus alone..narrowly missing somebody who stopped suddenly in front of me to throw up..cold reality..crossing the street seeing crackheads laying flat out on the sidewalk..standard living for many, unfamiliar to some..if you do not 'See' the real u have to be blind, deaf and dumb..simple stories and experiences of real life..  Wish I had a co writer to help pull fine details out of my mental archives and help them shine.  (#RandomThoughts under the influence of inspiration.)

* Somebody compared my voice to Erykah Badu...gosh!   I have also heard Sade, Teena Marie and Diana Krall today by different people..How awesome is that! ??!!  Feeling like..Wow..No words!  (Status following the release of album "Love On All Accounts")

* The biggest accolade I have ever had in my entire life was from my daughter when I read her a couple of short rhymes I had just written. She is 14 now, so I don't get a whole lot of attention from her these days.  She listened with a look on her face that spoke volumes and said "Wow mom, you're really good at that!" Sh then paused before saying "How do you DO that?!"  Awwwww if no one else ever likes another thing I do, my life is complete..  #ShesMyHeart.

* Every great thing that we see, hear or experience, every monument or great work of art that takes many hands to create, every war, every historical uprising which produces change whether good or bad, begins with one single grain of a concept or idea in the mind of one individual..the difference between change or stagnancy on a large scale lies within a leader's ability to convince others, or generate interest that action on their part will benefit them personally (or their families), whether the proposed action is, in fact, TRULY good for them. The rest is down to chain action/reaction. (*Just thoughts that pass thru my mind early in the morning.)

* If I could achieve just one thing before I leave this planet, it would be to re-connect a few people who need to open up to each other, without them fighting me about it. People may move on in their lives but they don't need to leave behind people who care about them or have their backs in the process. I would give up all my personal achievements in life apart from my daughter, just to see that happen. I should not NEED to wish or dream of it, it should occur naturally! My heart lives in a state of heaviness when it doesn't happen. Maybe I should include that as my last wish in my will and testament..would it do any good?

* (2011)  I took my daughter to Clementon Park yesterday,  just in time for the earthquake which we didn't even feel! Just as we were getting off the Hellcat ride there was a microphone, reporter and photographer waiting for us. The Courier Post wanted to know how we felt about going on a ride like that during an earthquake.

* Everyone nowadays is an "aspiring artist"...how many are aspiring to be great?...no no.."they" (all your imagined, future or actual listeners) are not the REAL priority..The REAL priority is (or should be) "be awesome for yourself first"..no side eyes to see their reaction..Work on your skills first and foremost (learn to love what you do with an educated, fine-tuned ear). Why? Because good skills are the passport to communicating your soul more effectively thru your art. (But then, I'm not "famous" so what do I know?) Just think on it and let it simmer slowly in your mind. I can't remember who was quoted or the exact words I heard in college but the essence of the message stayed with me..that we must put blood, sweat, tears..conscious effort and a lot of time and patience into learning our craft, instrument, music, lyrics etc. Eventually, when you can perform something without thinking about it, close your eyes and feel it..that's when it comes from the place it is suppose to come from!  I'm still growing..When I stop learning or being enthusiastic, or passionate enough..When I am no longer able to feel inspired enough to pick up a pen or sing my heart out..That will be my signal to call it a day.

* You Know What? My life became much less stressful, less angst, blame and disgust filled when I stopped "expecting" or anticipating that all on my facebook pages would be supporting me, my music or my podcast. I realize we are all just here doing what we do trying to get "attention". We need to all stop thinking in terms of "if you are not supporting me financially in the here and now (as in buying my albums, using my service etc) you are against me", and think more in terms of "what knowledge can we share with each other, how can we mutually benefit each other to move forward on our chosen paths ". We are all busy surviving out here. There should be mutual respect for the struggle without everybody stepping on heads to get to the top, or angrily demanding the biggest piece of pie. Unity is everything my friends. Breathe. Life is short.  No need to make it shorter..enjoy the journey.

* Not sure what brought it on but i just woke up from a full on Goodfellas type gangsta ish living color dream. In the dream I was apparently a woman having relations with two rival mafia leaders. I was on the peripheral witnessing contracts being carried out, murder etc, panicking and looking for alibis so I wouldn't inadvertently be connected with the crime or questioned over it. Craaaaaazyyyy dream. I know I was listening to "Casino Crack" (one of my songs) a little earlier so maybe that was in my head..who knows!

* Having a good voice, with an appearance that does not fit in with most human's image of 'sensual beauty' is a small blessing but a large curse, no matter how you try to paint it..guess you have to rely more on your vocals to let your inner beauty shine brighter and believe more in yourself.

* Everyone is complaining that nobody is communicating..i state the same emphatically..but not until i check my own hands and yes it can honestly be said that whenever logging on to facebook, an effort is made to comment on posts, share things of interest, show respect, as well as post my own thoughts, projects and pics. The deadness and commercialism on fb is becoming mind numbing. Where are you all? Are you all bots? Do I have to be 21 with a voluptuously thick body to draw attention to my thoughts, comments and projects? Why is it so many people are out here demanding love for their work but refuse to show you respect back..its getting crazy on here.  Its NOT Just ALL about you in this world.

* People are too quick to take 'Sides'.  Just because you are not FOR me does not mean you are AGAINST me.  It just means you have not explored me yet, or if you have you have not yet heard the sound that moves you! I'm not done yet..stay awake, watch, listen and let me know what, in your mind you can hear me doing!  When you have a love affair with music you try out different positions!

* Too much hate..changing the world begins with changing yourself. Get your mind right! America is the worst for all the finger pointing "us and them". Too white, too black, too light, too dark, too young, too old, too this too that. Eff all that. I just appreciate breathing the air with people I appreciate, appreciate what people bring to the table intellectually, skill-wise, talent-wise, idea-wise.  Get off the surface and get down to what else is there..if anything.

* Artists...It's great that you are "bizzy bizzy bizzy"!  Faaantaastic..  But, keeping your nose down on that grindstone does not get the work heard. It doesn't get your face out there so ppl can see it..does not get you communicating with appreciators so they can see who and what they are supporting.. THIS is my beef with veteran and even newer artists that should know better..You gotta promote yourself..YOU ARE THE PRODUCT!!

* It's good to know facts and truths, but to my mind its not always necessary to break every little thing down to the tiniest fraction. Sometimes you gotta just say to yourself "it is because it is"..and let it go. Sometimes I browse on here and see so many posts and memes stating the absolute obvious like they were the most profound statements ever. You don't always have to see it in writing to recognize that things are what they are...but then again..there's all kinds in this world..maybe some ppl NEED to see it that way. The other angle is, just because it is in writing and said with flowery speech doesn't mean it is so! Know or research your facts but there's no need to over analyse. I have to occasionally remind myself of this too. Sometimes I do overthink things but life is teaching me that it just destroys the lesson. Ooh and one last thought. There are times when you are not MEANT to take a statement literally!!!! See what they are saying, really read it and see that it may be said in jest, sarcasm or just a simple statement, idea or thought that doesn't need to be questioned. Use your mind and don't go crazy trying to decipher, analyse, question, read something else into it etc..it is what it is. #RandomThoughts

* I must be the only parent that tells her teenager.."TURN THAT ISH UPPPP"!!!  She was asked to play "Run This Town" and that cannot and should not be heard at low volume..noway nohow..I just cannot do it!

* (2011)  At Friday's performance there was only time to jump on and sing one track..without a mic check! To my ear the sound was horrible  but I gave it what I could. Chris had introduced me by my government name and as we finished performing "TalkSweet", I kept hearing a lady yelling my name over and over. I wondered if I knew her but she was just showing appreciation from the crowd. That was a beautiful experience! Next time I get on a stage I will be giving her and all my appreciators everything I have and more!

* Some people think they have life and other people all figured out. The day you stop being interested in listening, looking and exploring like a kid learning to walk is the day you have given up on life! Find something to be excited about..in a good way!

* Just a thought..I'm seeing a lot of flyers with spelling mistakes and bad English! If that is the look you are aiming for cool, don't worry about it! But for everybody else, don't just throw a flyer out to the public without looking it over carefully first!  Also, a complaint I have is that you put these flyers online expecting people in other states to know where the eff "1125 Ingham Street" is?? What state are you in?? In order to share some of these events on my show, I have literally had to go do some research to find out exact names and locations of venues..its not helpful!!! Please do us all a favor and be more specific and detailed..You would probably see more people turning up at your event!

* Artists if a producer makes you a beat or remixes a track for you, who's responsibility is it to promote the track? The producer's you say? Wrong!!!  It is NOT the producer's responsibility!  BUT if that producer is WILLING to push it WITH you, you're on to a win/win situation!  HOWEVER..whether you have a budget set aside to promote your tracks..and I mean ANY of your tracks, whether it is the lead single of your next major release, or a super dope remix somebody has done for you, you owe it to the producer and yourself to push that sh#%t out into the world YOURSELF!!! Why should it be your guilty pleasure??! ..Share it out!!! I get madder than hell at both signed and unsigned artists for this..do your part!!  I don't care if you are a superstar or just starting out..this is your work!! Isn't that what you are here for? SHARE THAT ISH OUT! The more people that like it, the more hands you have that can help you share it out without having to pay an hourly rate to a multitude of staff to do the job for you!! ..Wake up and see the light!!! People need to work together! 

* Message to racists of all cultures, colors, sexes and religions: When you die, do you really think they are going to have turnstyles at the pearly gates to separate out the shades or ethnicities? smh..  Get your head right in THIS world because you won't be able to escape the decision of who gets in and who doesn't when you get there..

* There are no words in the English language, no matter how harshly or how sweetly spoken/written that will get thru to a closed mind..

*  You will never get "traditional" ANYTHiNG out of me. I'm no good at copying..I even switch up my own stuff when singing or speaking. The lines are refined inside my mind like an 8 track on rewind. (*grabs pen and writes that down lol) So if you are looking for "sounds like ..." I am not her.  I Sincerely cannot thank enough the producers, mcs, singers and listeners who have accepted/embraced this strange blend of styles, sounds, thoughts and character and the "differentness" that is MofoHari.  ‪#RandomThought‬

* Strange and "different" I may be,  but I honestly have no sympathy or empathy at all with the word 'bored'!!!..  I may get restless at times and want to get on and do something, which is simply the 'mental activator button' telling me to hop to it..But bored??! To me that would imply there is a part of my life that is getting wasted!!! You are the only one who can make a conscious choice to fill that gap!  Even if you choose to lay on the couch and watch television all day..that's a choice and may be what your mind and body need at that time..but boredom? Thankfully that has never been a part of my existence. #RandomWakefulThoughts

* I have noticed that most rappers/mc's don't seem to have too much trouble getting other rappers/mc's to work on a track with them. But in the past decade I have only managed to get one mc and one singer/producer to sing with me but neverrrr a female singer on a track..not one!!..A few ladies have voiced interest but when you get to the point of putting a mic in their hand they mysteriously disappear. What's up with that singers?? Where's the passion??!

* Sometimes it may seem the most talented and skilled among us don't appreciate their own perfection. At times they step back and fall silent, taking time out to re assess, or striving to surpass each level of greatness or at least format it so that the outer world can recognize and share and appreciate what they had slept on..and what has been there all along. Don't be afraid, the ones who follow their heart are not here to destroy but to build! All you have to do is open your creative mind or your ears. What is so hard about that?!  If you pass up opportunity to work with greatness then you can't even pretend that you care that much about your own musical intuition, or trying something new, or growing as an artist.

* I am bored with certain perceptions of 'professional or personal behavior'. To my mind "professionalism" is the ability to satisfactorily complete work. Personal behavior is not about following an etiquette bible, but being honest with yourself and others. "Cool is in the eye of the beholder. If you don't like an attitude, or make a judgement on professionalism based on behavior, you had better hold a mirror to yourself!!! ..It means you fail to see the essence of what is important and need to examine your own attitude. I refuse to censor my beliefs or thoughts just to comply with individual needs for someone to fit into a self-determined preferred image or character pattern.

* Always experimenting with different things, I just discovered that African Macadamia oil (normally for hair) mixed with cocoa butter really helps on stubborn dry skin patches..

* Please don't slam the radio host hat on my head and forget that I am first and foremost, heart and soul an artist!  The hosting is an extension of expression and a sharing of music AS WELL as the church in which I learn, share knowledge, progress and assist progression!

* I don't believe in hierarchy or levels in humanity. We all stand on the same ground, on the same earth, in the same universe. Those with superiority complexes need to be shoved in a space capsule and left to float in the stratosphere, or around the outer edges of our solar system until they understand exactly the truth of their significance/importance on this tiny, messed up planet called earth. Yes we all have our purpose and some are to guide, all are here to learn, teach and support..Not to smirk, control, puff out chests and believe they are superior. Some of us are given harder lessons, some have rockier paths, some are given gifts of superior intelligence, others the gift to make others laugh or smile..some are blessed with more finances..others given less to work with. We all have purpose..but not one of us is truly more important or greater than another. Believe me, one can be given "power" by other humans on this earth..but sands shift and tides change rhythmically. All things must be kept steadily in perspective in order to understand, continue to learn the lessons correctly, teach and remain consistent in our growth. ‪#TotallyRandomThoughts‬

* Life is full of the most unbelievable ironies..i have learned that: On the whole, most humans have a blinkered, highly selective consciousness..they will only become enlightened if they choose to be. The larger the network, the more alone you can feel. The harder you drive for a specific action, or understanding or unity, no matter if you hit em hard with a sermon, one on one with earnestness, in the face, gently or in urgent discussion format, folks will not hear, absorb or act until they feel its their own idea/discovery or occasionally if they are shamed into an action. And the person, team or organization (Or concept/message/idea/product etc) that u are shooting for/speaking on can only go by the results of your efforts to reach people, not the energy put in..so the one who grinds hardest, reaches hardest or feels strongest can end up being the one that loses it all by virtue of being shot down by all sides. Folks all around you move on with their lives like it doesn't matter while you are left with nothing. #HarshLessonsOfLife

* I am reminded again and again how over serious, miserable and hypocritically pious ppl are getting. I throw podcasts and videos up with a little humor because firstly and most importantly, I love to laugh..but also i'm sick to death of gloom and doominess. People seem to pick up the vibe and spread it around. Oh and religious statuses, woe and misery, drama, horror etc etc. Lighten the eff up or please PLEASE go away! I have enough on my plate without seeing all that! Yea, yea I know.."scroll on by", you say. Oh believe me I do..I do..Very quickly, but you're missing my point by saying that. Why not actually peep out the humor and let it sink into your veins..medicate yourself with a lil bit of laughter! You will feel so much better...Yes you will!

* Men, do you think women are getting more ratchet and aggressive in behavior toward you/men in general? Or am I just slowly starting to wake up and notice more women acting like they need to be turned over laps and having their butts spanked raw? I know I'm too nice..my favorite ppl remind me constantly..but damn..I would nottt want to be some bitch ass diva..no!! its NOT cool "ladies" (I say the word loosely to those to whom it applies).

* All this power of communication that podcasters-with-supporters have at their fingertips and they don't use it often enough..all these issues that could be spoken on and folks want to go over the same ground..tryin to be cool..be original!!!!!! I knooow, I know.."No idea's original, there's nothin new under the sun..". But the next part is the important part.."It's never what you do BUT HOW ITS DONE!!!"

* Artists..you have a product, have a small budget and/Or promote on your own..very nice..but are you doing anything special to get noticed?  Nowadays everybody and their great grandma is doing exactly what u are doing..it cancels out everything since most people seeing promo coming at em from all directions are learning to shut down..thank technology for producing so many bad artists that nobody knows who to trust and shuts ears after awhile..go back to 80's and 90's when artists and labels had some business savvy, skilled artists connected, communicated and collaborated with each other, producers put out remixes of tracks the world loved and these were received with enthusiasm..now everybody is running around all crazy..scared to let anybody remix their tracks, and when somebody comes forward with dopeness they hide em under a rug..fans come forward with inspired ideas and artists refuse to even respond..this is why music is effing up so badly. It is heartbreaking to watch!  My team searches hard for artists with sense.

* I am not in the "lost and found" box to be scrummaged thru and retrieved, not a game to be beaten, not a challenge to be risen to, not an amusement ride, not a battle to be conquered, not a bitch to be beaten down, not a ho to be put in place, not here to be compared with a line up of "options". There is no plate here to be "stepped up to", not here looking for a relationship, not here looking for flattery, not a cougar on the prowl, not looking for a sugar daddy or whatever else people put in their heads at any given time when they see a woman..especially one who expresses her thoughts. When people stop trying to categorize and figure out what "use" or part people could or should be playing in THEIR lives, for THEM..the world may stop, breathe and appreciate the essence of each other. As a wise man once said "nothing is forever". Try just breathing each other's air and seeing where they are in their own path. You may never have another chance to find out what is brought to the table unless you change your mindset. Drop the preconceptions and hidden agendas before you sit down at my table..?#?BreakBreadNotHearts?.

* How can you be networking like a mofo, expect folks to sell all they have and follow you, yet you don't gaf what THEY do and never check on anything they share with you?? YOU AIN'T SH#%T! Trust me..your buzz will die when people finally realize you are all about you and nothing else. But then again I could be wrong. There are a lot of lemmings in this world, I'm just not one of them. If I like your work enough to support you, I need to know the respect is mutual.

* In all things..be professional.  If you tell somebody you will do something, ok you might forget, it happens!  But if people are INBOXING YOU and you OBVIOUSLY SEE THE MESSAGE (it is marked with a CHECK MARK when viewed) and do not respond in any way..one can only ASSUME you have changed your mind about doing business with them. However famous you are, the principles still stand.

* If you paint me a certain way in your mind or have me on a pedestal..STOP..IMMEDIATELY..I cannot live up to your vision..or ANY vision..  #IAmJustMe mistakes and all. I have a path just like you. I have goals, dreams, hopes, beliefs..good aspects and bad aspects..kinda dumb, kinda smart. But i will speak from my heart in all things. Do NOT let "me" disappoint you. Accept me as I am, good and bad or walk away..please.

* Did you know that forcing your religion down people's throats alienates them more than it brings them to God or saves their souls?  Please don't go OTT with that. A lot of us out here are believers or spiritual and still get annoyed seeing that, because most of you APPEAR to be hypocrites..Just show and prove. I do not need to see it on my newsfeed every 2 seconds..I feel you but please..enough is enough..

* Every door I have tried to open has either been triple padlocked with uncrackable combinations, doors with broken hinges where the door opened wide but led nowhere, or opened to a maze of grandiose proportions that required an expert guide (who are either nowhere to be found or are wolves dressed like lambs wanting to buy or sell your soul). I do not ask for/need an easy option or a major miracle, just a little help getting past the snarling, evil guard dogs at every door I knock on..and some new clothes. I have been beaten, ripped to shreds, pulled apart and knocked down, but I have a family so staying down is not an option.

* All you folks out there looking for love..It doesn't happen overnight like that! If it does, that's lust not love. Stop rushing it! ..You cannottttt force somebody's 'Emotion Hand'. Like Diana ross said.."You Can'T Hurry Love"..(and the rest). No way am I in any rush. I'm just happy there are folks around who care about and respect me..No rush at all..que sera sera!

* Envy is a mofo..if you were meant to have what he/she/they have, be where they are, wear their shoes etc, you would have been born a different person. Understand that you have your OWN path, resources, talents, experiences. Be who you are and shine at it. In the end you will probably discover the thing/person etc you were envious of was nowhere near as good as what you've got!

* 'I' have pushed past multiple barriers, disregarded a million fears and pushed forward against all odds. It is time my "mofo hari" takes over the stage and shoves off the reserved miss donna h, cuz obviously being laidback/cautious/respectful does not get her what she needs/wants/deserves.

* Maybe its because I'm a leo or maybe a its lot of things, but I've always been loyal to a fault to people or things I believe in based on the knowledge that is acquired. This may not make sense to most reading this because in business, and particularly in the MUSIC business, and even more particularly in America, I see SO LITTLE evidence of loyalty, continuity or even heart these days. Seems to me folks see everybody as an expendable face, product or service. There is a flippancy toward music like 'whats the big deal, its only music?'. Is that partly due to technology being what it is? Music is on tap more and more, low quality beat makers are touting their product free from every site and muddying the waters so skilled producers who charge for SERVICES and talented artists who SHOULD be getting paid for their work will never be heard above the rabble of would be superstars with the skill of a gnat buzzing past...BUT I'M DIGRESSING HERE..Loyalty..ah yes loyalty..and passion..and enthusiasm..and showmanship..and teamwork..and continuity. Look at these words and read them over a few times..because i'm telling you, these are the words that will one day be seen in music history books. You will need to read them just to find out the meaning because they are becoming extinct.

*  December 4, 2009: thought of the day..imaginatively or mentally try to walk in somebody's shoes before you judge or speak your mind..examine the perspective from which u speak before u open ya mouth..then if u have something of value to say, pearls of wisdom are meant to be handed out to teach or enlighten each other on this planet so speak up!!

* December 15, 2014: I'm completely nutsified when it comes to music..if i hear a voice or a vibe that resonates in me, a beat that hits me right, a verse somebody spits that hits me between the eyes, or a number of other things i can at times literally burst into tears ..nothing to do with bein a sad song or 'normal' stuff that moves ppl..nooo none of that..just for some reason..my whole body reacts to sound..i get chills, goosebumps, thumpy heart, get lost on mars or somewhere at times..maybe i need to get a life and stop living vicariously thru sound lol.

* April 9, 2015: #MoreRandomThoughts  I may be completely wrong but..i don't believe ppl have to be 'set in their ways' (unless they choose to be)..habits can be broken, directions can be changed, minds can adjust priorities and direction at any age! i've heard of 90 odd year old ppl achieving dreams..doing wt training and looking amazing, or being in a band etc etc..i've seen it happen...So for anybody to say they can't change is really saying they won't/don't want to change, or they are scared to try, or they have given up on themselves..Now, being "stuck in a rut", yes it does happen but when excuses override potential or when somebody firmly convinces him/herself that they can't change..they are fkkd before they even try. So whatever age, no matter what circumstance anything is possible..the mind is capable of a whole lot more than we give it credit for.

* April 9, 2015: Maybe i should call my book of poetry '50 shades of ink'..kinda has a ring to it huh

* What you must ask yourself is..what makes YOUR podcast/radio show/performance/service etc DIFFERENT than the MILLIONS of others out there. What sets it apart? Why should anyone "tune in" to YOU specifically? And you can relate this to personal relationships or anything else in life. If you don't bring uniqueness or your own brand of greatness..and consistency with THAT..then you just may be a "convenience consumable"..a stopover..a peep around the door and nothing more. Whatever you do bring greatness and uniqueness to the table otherwise you are just another minnow in the ocean. #RandomWakingThought

* February 4, 2015: RandomThoughts i've seen ppl i care about fall down and go into hiding, watched ppl slowly get back up on their feet..i've fallen and risen like a swelling tide too, but i'm still alive, still breathing, still finding humor in the occasional stupidity of life..And for all my tired icons and those that i completely believe in..ride it out..i'm gettin old now, so i do know how vicious and hard life can ride you..you have no idea how well i know..and why should you? i have no major public complaints, bcs i continue to learn every time that ol bulldog grabs me by the throat, or every time i get dragged under by a riptide..(if i don't learn from the lessons, then i'm a fool and will have to retake the test in some other form)..i just continue to work on my skills and live my life..bcs thats just how we do. (i'm soo tempted to say "It's a Donna thing..you wouldn't understand.." lmao..but i won't..)

* February 4, 2015: One sided love is not love..its obsession..Bein "IN" love is only possible with two consenting ppl feeling the same..and not to be confused with being in lust, which is also a common affliction which affects warm blooded mammals. You can choose not to love..it can be done..but you can also learn to care about someone with fondness, in a state of toleration..which is how most long term relationships eventually work. #RandomThoughts

* February 4, 2013: I have come to the conclusion that my enthusiasm for progress and professionalism is outdated, unappreciated and viewed as 'rude'..i find it difficult to tolerate blatant disregard..if the majority of businesses are 'too busy' to ensure their work is done well or check details for accuracy, then turn around and use 'hey i was doing you a favor' as a line of angry defense and call me rude for pointing it out..then its time for me to leave business..i get it..i want too much..my ppl want too much..forgive me..i apologize to anyone who has attempted to do business with me that i dare to put my heart and soul into the work i do..i was wrong and don't fit into the "modern way of thinking"...peace and respect.

* July 3, 2014: When i get married my wedding will ROCK..gonna make sure there's a serious remix of the wedding march and nobody will be allowed to sit still and get all emo as i pass demurely by down the aisle..hellll no..its going to be fun, interactive and full of the right vibe for the occasion..in my dreams..when i die my funeral will ROCK..i swear upon my life if i see any one person crying i WILL be there in spirit and slap the ish out of them along with a few other things lol..hell no..it has to have stand up comedy, laughter and everybody havin a good time..let me entertain you in life and in the afterlife.

Quotes:

* #RevelationsAtTheRiver: Funny how I seem to fit in nowhere and everywhere at the same time. I am a conundrum..an enigma. Memories are notoriously short so I take in the moments as they come and continue feeling what I feel. People often see me as easily embraced but easily forgotten. I have learned that this is how life works. But that's ok. I shall continue being me. (No, I'm not on the raspberry apple banana kush..just thinkin' in type)

ON LIFE'S CHANGES - Monday, June 5, 2017

Ch-Ch-Changes: Don’t Be Scared: From late 2016 onward to June 2017 there have been many changes in my life. "Change" is nothing new for me though. Over the years phenomenal winds of changes have drawn me here and there and in a sense I have allowed myself to be blown wherever a gust of a passionate breeze would take me. Even saying this I always "thought" or believed a solid plan was in place. Following your heart is a awesome IF a plan is clearly sound with a solid foundation, you have funds to facilitate, you use foresite, hindsite, third eye and proven past results to guide you. That ain't always possible of course, so one must stay alert, learn to let go when necessary, reboot, recharge and always replan when one dream, idea or plan bites the dust. We can aim for continuity and stability, pin our hopes on others to hang in there through the bumps and hardships, but we must NEVER "expect" it, the world and humans in it are very changeable. It/they adapt according to its/their own needs, circumstances and situations. Ultimately it is on each of us to believe in ourselves enough, be accepting of the challenges, guage whether those challenges are "worth" the energy required to succeed in those specific tests or to change the angle of your lens and replan the attack/direction. 

The real tests come when you "appear" to have been (or it may feel as if you have been) "abandoned" by once equally passionate spirits that, for their own reasons chose to dive underground and replan their own directions. And that's ok! Everybody has their own life to work through, their own dreams to uphold, to pause from, maybe to go head on beyond their slower counterparts or work with their own needs in any way they feel necessary! The onus is on each of us individually to decide whether to keep going with our own direction, to double back, change lanes or sit down.

So let me say to everyone on a similar path..open your creative mind, believe in the process, in yourself and focus. Life may FEEL like one big conundrum but it really isn't. I, like many do tend to make things harder for myself..but I have learned a lot BECAUSE of the challenges, experiences and tests. I have learned more about myself. Discovered that I'm stronger than I ever could have imagined. Most importantly I have learned a LOT from each person who has taken time to drop knowledge on me. That is important! Appreciate the steps and remember the lessons so you can do the same for someone else on their own journey even when the time has come for you to lay down tools and simply enjoy someone else's process/progress.

I'm working now..yeah a job! No more starving artist!  It has somewhat bitten a chunk of time that I'd had to pursue my dreams BUT has provided great fuel to be able to invest more into what I love and enjoy. So my dreams are intact. I'm still connected with my people and those passionate about the same things that I am. In fact I'm more able to communicate and connect at a higher, more positive level than before since my financial fears and worries are removed from the equation. Ahh life has indeed been kind enough to turn my situation around from dire to stable, with focused direction. Keep watching ;) No. Let me change that..keep moving forward! YOU GOT THIS! The trials can/will turn to triumph if you learn from them and plan your action differently because of them.  Peace.  - MofoHari  

* I am "on my own" 95.5% of the time..can't even get out my own front door most of that time and it will be even less likely as time goes on working full time from home plus the show plus my music..but you know what? I'm still happy. Never everrrrr bored. Ppl who get depressed being by themselves scare me. Means they have a need to drain other ppl's energy in order to fill their own self created gaps. Ppl who get bored, as my ppl have rightly said in the past, are boring ppl. Be happy with yourself first! How is anybody else going to appreciate you if you are constantly needing to project onto others or leech on or drain them to complete yourself?!? Relationships are awesome when each are coming together as whole ppl who are equally happy breathing the same air together as they are being on their own. Nobody likes to babysit a grown person. #RandomThoughts
Yesterday I did the monthly grocery shopping online as usual, but this time i focused on only healthier foods..fruit, veg..healthier everything. Looked up and the subtotal came to over $500..For two ppl thats wayyy too much. Had to whittle it right back and balance it with some microwaveable ish just to keep the cost down smh.

* Waking Thoughts: Since I have now been doing these things I do musically for well over a decade, and since my first moments of involvement have continually been exposed to a whole smorgasbord of artists who represent hip hop, from the earliest era onward, I can, with hand on heart say that MaDD PPuLL have put out some of the greatest music I have EVER been exposed to so far in my lifetime. It mystifies me why they were not/have not yet been embraced by legends and heavyweights and propelled forward to be heard from a better vantage point within the community. No, it more than mystifies, it saddens me that they have been for the most part slept on for so many years by those who should have been paying attention. 

MaDD PpuLL were around making MAGIC lonnng before I came into their family photo album. This is how the community loses potential giants and legends. Within their over-self-involvement, they remain sleeping. And so..I hold a spare key in my hand and regularly maintain the church of MP, make sure cobwebs are swept away, keep the library in order and spend time appreciating at my own leisure. They are legends and giants..to me. And I have a good ear. So yup..I shall have to be content with that until others inadvertently stumble across something yearrs down the line as if it were an ancient relic, and the awakening suddenly hits them. Hey they still have "it"!.."It" is always around for the hungry..those that get tired of bad diets and would rather dine in style. *places jewel encrusted church key back in its hallowed case.

* ...When a learning curve stretches out in front of you..don't look too far ahead. Watch the area directly in front and follow the yellow brick road..(current, useless advice to self on the process of studying up on something completely new and unfamiliar..but interesting)

* WHOA check this out..You have seen that my soundclick title is "Donna At Home" right? I have never seen this particular definition of the meaning of my government name before..interesting! "Donna is an English language feminine first name meaning lady in Italian. The original meaning is closer to lady of the home and was a title of respect, equivalent to Don for men. It is rare as a surname. The name Anna can be used as a short form of Donna" .

* I support some great causes because I believe we ALL need to encourage movements and people that aim to make changes in the world. The people at the heart of these missions should be held down and pushed forward! Find something you believe in and get behind it..it does make a difference! Don't just watch, nod and applaud from a distance. Anybody who TRULY knows me knows that I DO put my heart and soul into people and things I believe in..sometimes at the cost of forgetting what I'm here for. For anyone around me that has gotten confused, this is my purpose..to create and entertain..and of course to bring to new ears the music I have created with people who will always be part of me and never be far from my heart..MaDD PpuLL!

* These medical commercials drive me nutz. It is not enough that we have to sit thru promotions of a med we haven't the remotest interest in..but they give the GOOD aspects of the drug in one sentence..and the reasons why you SHOULDN'T take it for another three minutes smh!

* Too many people want their life to be all sunshine and roses..every day..When its not like that they despair, give up. lf you want easy sailing all your life it ain't gon happen! To get out of a stalemate, or place where you feel bored, unstimulated, that there's no more to be attained or achieved at the level where you are..switch it up! Go a new direction, learn somethin new. It just means you have learned that particular lesson, and now its time to challenge yourself. If things are just too hard and you are not getting where you want to be, it means that the time has come to step back a pace and work out another plan so you can try a different angle. EVERYTHING is a learning experience..work WITH it instead of fighting against it or grumbling.

* A good mic and foldback in performance will do wonders for confidence in performing..the opposite is obvious..all the rehearsing in the world will do nothing if your mic sucks and you cannot hear what you're doing..which affect how you come across to your audience...bad all around...got to have a good mic and sound controller or it makes you look unprofessional.

QUOTES: 

* Producers..have you personally, or someone else on your behalf sent out free beats to trillions of artists..the majority of whom said they would check them out and get back to you, never to hear from them? so you chase them up time and time again and they keep saying 'i never got it' but you see by your (or your representative's) messages that they would have received them? now, you KNOW your work is wayyy better than most of the beats you're hearing but artists be yawning and still putting calls out for beats, acting all innocent? yea..me neither. I can't forget that bs..SCORES and scores of you artists out there should learn some communication skills..and professional attitudes..and if you don't recognize yourself in this status artists..you're lost anyway.
 
* Whoaa I've seen at least ten posts today alone, possibly more about death anniversaries and recent ones, emotional traumas and emo attacks from total strangers..as Marvin Gaye would say "What's Going On"? Come on fb, do you really come on here just to vent your pain, dramas and anger to relative strangers? Oh and the rest I see is about sex..None of which i really come on fb about personally..I make an effort to add on to discussions but..eh..since there seems to be less and less passion for the art of music on display, it may be nearing time to tip my hat to the crumbling element and lock myself away in the studio..lighten up folks or I'll start throwing up ridiculousness until you drop me or learn to laugh.

* One beautiful thing I've learned is that music as a whole can transcend time, space, religion, beliefs..i always worried that i was too old, too unattractive by human standards, too "different" to be embraced for the creativity I brought to the table..and indeed first glances very often are disbelieving or doubtful..YES! I am use to it..I am not "traditional" by any stretch of anyone's imagination. Yet when I have spoken with many of these same people directly, or they have seen me perform there are various reactions from surprise, to sudden understanding, to realization that i am one passionate little lady lol..5'2" with a heart solidly in reaching out with my creative spirit to those with open minds, hearts and ears..passion is something that you cannot hide if it is genuine..so i say to anyone, never be afraid to let your light shine no matter what the odds are..you will be surprised who will embrace, support, appreciate and encourage what you offer..that is all..peace.

* Here's the crazy thing..I never wanted, or planned or intended to come out here and sing solo..in my crazy head i had the world up there on stage singing with me..with my team sharingthe mic with me..that is when I felt whole..when I was pushing for others more than myself..this self promotion takes hella getting use to but at least thru the music I'm still promoting the people and things I care about..I just can't be untrue to my heart..just can't do it.

ON LIFE'S LANES AND FREEWAYS 

August 4, 2016

Funny Thing About Life: You could move heaven and earth for people, do anything and everything without asking, never running to them to say "Hey I did this..and this..and this" because you did what you did/do what you do out of belief in or appreciation of them and thinking maybe some good can come out of any actions. Like maybe you can wake other people up to whatever it is that is exciting you about "them" etc.  You may have set aside what you were doing when people wanted to talk. You may have taken time to share inspiration, ideas, thoughts to set some creative pistons off pumping. You may have dropped everything to jump on board to assist when "all hands on deck" was called for. Whatever the case may be you did/do it gladly and freely. 

Yet allll the time you were/are in a lane created by individuals or groups ..moved there and there according to their need or lack of.  Eventually you may look around and wonder "Wha’ happen?..Where'd they go?" So you check for them.."..Hey how's things..everything good?" And they squint, head to one side like.."Who are you again??" Or they may not respond at all, as if you have done something wrong, when the reality is they have simply moved on, playing new games with new rules and new players, and you don't fit in! Their focus is on their moves. Hey that's reality! Lol! Yes it is!

The lesson here is to Love and Honor your own needs first, nobody else truly cares!  Either you can be leaned on, used or you are a rival to many (according to practical experience lessons learned so far).  Always remember you are eternally expendable in the life of other humans. The lesson is to embrace everybody who breathes the air with you and appreciate them in the moment. You never know how long they will be walking with you!

As for Me? I'm just here to make music. Whatever you think you see or imagine that I am, the truth is I am in competition with nobody and can play in my sandbox happily.  NOTHING is "do or die" to me at this stage in my existence. Nothing matters so much that I would even be remotely tempted to step on heads, use people or compete as if my life depended on it. I just share pieces of my life with good people who have a little hunger, passion, and humor. I give my time, mind, thoughts and inspiration when the vibes and the connections are right and “let go” in places where I no longer am needed or fit in with what they want, need or envision.
  
But I will say from the heart, I do not forget those who help me in life! And folks are never a pawn in my game since I refuse to play them. I just do (whatever it is I may do) because it is who I AM. My only "plan" is to breathe as long as possible, be creative, experience what is for me to experience and enjoy the ride. L.I.F.E. #RandomThoughts   www.mofohari.com

******************************************************************************************

ON THE VIRTUES OF RHYME AND LYRICISM 

July 20, 2016

I know I'm crazy but..how can I put this?  As somebody who writes poetry and lyrics I often write about love, sex and non love with simple straight forward lyrics and a lot of metaphor. I write a lot about made up stories, writing about people that I have met and personal experiences. But of all the things written over the years my favorites by far are the ones that reflect what I'm feeling. Let me repeat..WHAT I AM FEELING, SEEING OR EXPERIENCING (past and present tense)..like pulling it out and holding it up to the light for illumination and therapalization..and really? very VERY few of those have actually been recorded, although I have folders and folders of written material. So basically I don't mean to be hypocritical when saying that I see a lot of the same subject matter by rappers, emcees and singers. It is great when it's done with style. 

But I really respect and value the type of songs like my people have done! Some are just lines strung together but say so much in the expressing of those lines. Those lines can make an unnnbelievable impact if you listen and feel!  There is a special appreciation for producers who create beats that say volumes without even having a voice on them. I know I'm rambling a little here, but as an artist who will always be working toward personal improvement, I contemplate a lot. 

As a singer, I need to find a way to SING some of those deeper thoughts. Nottt necessarily dark or depressing stuff, just the realness of experiences. There are volumes of (as of yet) unwritten lyrics just sitting in my head. The hope is to get some of them out before I leave this planet.  There is also within me a hunger to hear more from other artists like "that"..  So artists, we need to unleash the mind and see what we can find!  And um..if that line has been stolen,  I have no idea where it came from lol.  As far as I'm aware, its original..but who knows?

****************************************************************************************

ON LEAPING LIFE'S ROADBLOCKS IN..MULTIPLE, SLOW BOUNDS 

August 8, 2014

I live with an illness called M.E./CFS..had it for years but most people would not know or recognize that and its not something that needs to be flaunted!!! It has been publicly said of me that I'm the hardest working lady in the industry and that may be far truer than they realize. Because although I HAVE an illness..I am NOT my illness and it will never steal my happiness. It won't stop me doing what I do..it will never prevent my progress or growth. Some, even people i have considered close to me choose not to see or understand and I can't hate..why should they when it is not their battle!? I get that completely. At its worst CFS affects memory, concentration, co-ordination, movement, speech and, at its worst had affected limbs to the point when I could not use my legs.

There was a time when I did not want it widely known and tried to hide it. But if I can encourage anybody to rise above their "limitations" to do what they love, then I hope my story will reach a million ears!! I'm NO martyr but i AM a warrior. Whether I seem weak or strong to specific eyes, there has never been a time when I have laid down arms and stopped trying..Well that isn't entirely true..I confess there are times when you feel like a total loser and very alone with your struggles..but you MAKE yourself get back up and keep going!!!! That is the whole point! There is always a physical war raging..With every battle that is won, that is just a small step forward..you HAVE to be instantly ready to keep the momentum going..keep fighting..keep winning..BECAUSE NOBODY ELSE CAN DO IT FOR YOU! ITS ALL YOU...HAVING PEOPLE WHO UNDERSTAND AND CARE BEHIND YOU HELPS, BUT ULTIMATELY ITS ON YOU TO SUCCEED!!!

A lot of people don't know about or understand the nature of the illness and that's okay..what they REALLY need to see is the RESULT of work, the OVERALL progress, not the struggles. The important thing to me is for people to see the heart and soul that is put in to what IS achieved. There can be periods of time when you feel strong, good, like you can take on the world..so you do! You do what you can with what you have, learn how to ride the waves when they come. The struggle is no stroll in the park and, when people with no understanding believe in their own mind you are not giving your best at any given time, or are "play acting" or not moving how they would want you to, not talking how they'd want you to..enough or clearly enough, or the power of recollection isn't instantaneous enough, not physically doing enough..its what they see at specific times and yes it can sting your heart and hurt you deep when you know you gave the best you had at the time.

Research and trying new things has been part of my battle plan from the beginning and yes I've come a long way..I have to say that, even if others cannot see the progress, I KNOW and am proud of every small step forward. I can't make people understand, and at the end of the day its not so much about understanding CFS, its about people who stick with me long enough to understand just how far I've come and be proud WITH me of what achievements actually mean. So yea, I'm proud of me. And I will CONTINUE to pick up momentum until the final breakthrough has been made and this thing is conquered completely.  AND BELIEVE ME IT WILL!

******************************************************************************************

ON GREATNESS  August 2016

My focus is NOT how to make money from my music, my focus is not on how to become famous, heard on every radio station across the globe, my mind is not focused on being a household name. My FOCUS is on UNDERSTANDING what, why, how and with whom my music and style fits best with, the elements mentally, spiritually, intellectually and physically that work together to create "greatness"..not greatness as in POWER..idgaf about power..i just want to be great..consider, marinate and comprehend. Where does the inspiration come from? But here is the bottom line..I CANNOT MAKE GOOD MUSIC ALONE!

Too many young artists nowadays are of the mindset that they can rock any "beat", trust anybody to mix it roughly for them and get it out there. WRONG!!! Without studying your art, your results, listening to honest feedback..and more importantly without a GOOD PRODUCER you are either just a mediocre wannabe or a sad product of our money grabbing industry and culture robbers who don't gaf what they feed the impressionable masses. BUT YOU ARE NOT GREAT AND WILL NEVER BE GREAT NO MATTER WHAT WORDS ARE FED INTO YOUR EGOTISTICAL BRAIN.

As for me? I hunger for a good PRODUCER who hears "me", gets "me", my "voice", understands my capabilities, advises, suggests, maybe even bullies a little to get the best out of me. But i don't allow that from just anybody!!! It has to be a PRODUCER (NOTTTT a beatmaker!!!!) who will allow themselves to connect with me at the deeper levels and SHAPE a song into the greatness it is capable of being! A GOOD PRODUCER IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN THE ARTISTS THEMSELVES! 

Yet one cannot shine without the other. Good producers are being killed off slowly by these "stars in their eyes", "know all", ego filled, young artists and so called beatmakers that may be able to make a decent beat but have no TRUE understanding of what MAKES a great track and no ability to SHAPE a song into its FULL capability. And therefore, without the skills and abilities of the above, the quality of music may continue to decline, while everybody scratches their heads and complains bitterly, yet no understanding.

***************************************************************************************

STRANGE DREAM  September 9, 2016

Somewhere within the fitful, pitiful amount of sleep last night, I had another one of my weird dreams. I was called upon to work at a charity event and i had no clue what was expected of me. I saw a familiar face (actually a fb friend, Jettie) and asked her if she knew. She grabbed a clipboard, wrote my name quickly on a check list next to two numbers, threw me two numbered keys from across the room and pointed out a direction.

I came to a gym-like bldg with a raised, very long, extended stage-like platform. The platform had clearly marked divisions, which each space numbered, two of which related to the numbers on the keys she'd thrown me. Below the platform i saw tables and chairs which would need to be put together and set up on the stage. There was nobody else around which I found puzzling. Not other key holders, nobody coming to attend, or even anybody else around to help me do "whatever it was I was supposed to do". I had no idea what time it was meant to open..Nothing. So I knew i'd have to figure it all out on my own.

Seeing a man setting things up in the distance, I asked if my assumptions were correct about where the tables etc should go etc..he nodded vaguely and carried on with what he was doing, so i got to work putting an office type chair together and was mentally planning how to get it all up on the platform and where would be the best position to place everything for those coming to the event to be able to see what was on the tables. I woke up still with no clue what the keys were for and what i was being asked to display on the tables for this charity event. Crazy.

******************************************************************

ON REPRESENTING FOR HIP-HOP September 9, 2016

******************************************************************

ON THE MINDSET OF "CELEBRATING TRAGEDY"  September 11, 2016

Forgive Me but I refuse to remember tragedy dates, death dates, sad dates of any kind. Humans just looove dwelling on all that and today is no exception. Focus on making changes, supporting the living in the here and now and showing each other love, support and respect while we can!

NOW is what we have.."NOW" is the clay that is in our hands. Are we just going to stare at it and look at the unformed lump? Are we going to cry, wail, get dramatic because it is not shaping itself? Or because mom or dad etc is not around to show u how to work that clay? Are you going to dramatically declare all the horrors of the world and stare in sorrow at the unformed mass in your hands?

Respecting those we care about or those lost in tragedy is a given. My mom (RIP) worked her butt off helping as a nurse with the Red Cross. She traveled where needed and worked hard! But we need to wake up and celebrate, contemplate and participate in LIFE..celebrate birthdays, highlights, great moments, happy memories, survival, people who matter to us, victories, forward movement and personal and collective accomplishments/ achievements (past and present)..I know I will more than likely be shot for my thoughts (no rhyme intended) but that is exactly what they are.

ON LIFE'S 'LEARNING CURVES'  September 26, 2014 

We can't always have things exactly as we long for them to be, but we have to keep breathing, moving and handling the challenges..its part of the learning curve of life no matter how hard or how tough the lesson u are being taught..whatever life throws at you stop n breathe, learn what it means, then keep going..Also no matter how much other humans on this planet mean to you, you can't make choices for them, or live their life for them..the only person you can really make decisions for is yourself..so we need to do that with the greatest thought and integrity..at the same time those ppl we care about will already know you'd be there for them in a heartbeat..thats 'My Philosophy'..the mofohari bible chapter 5 vs 8

*****************************************************************************************

ON RESPECTING FANS' VIEWS   September 26, 2012 

The thing that bothers me most about this business (and I'm striving not to be infected by it), is that artists, managers and connected services get so immersed in 'selling their product', especially after it is established that the artist is receiving some attention and the public is buying into it, that they start running around all crazy, and building the 'don't touch me I'm a superstar' persona for the artist. The artist is either not 'allowed' to, or does not choose to communicate with listeners, fans or those playing their music on any level other than 'here take this, buy it and eat it, your opinion now does not matter, your suggestions on collabs or 'wouldn't it be dope if you did this or that' are NOT important..'. As both artist and business woman, I choose to maintain an open dialogue and continue networking. FANS AND LISTENERS CAN JUST AS EASILY CHANGE THEIR MIND ABOUT SUPPORTING YOU AND THEY ARE THE ONES WHO PUT MONEY IN YOUR BANK, FOOD ON YOUR TABLE'. Open your ears and mind to what they have to say. They listen to your work more than your entourage does..RESPECT THEM!

*************************************************************************

ON SPOKEN VS WRITTEN EXPRESSION  September 23, 2015

I do not consider myself a great "speaker" but a thinker. I think a lot. I am alone 99 1/2 % of the time, most of that time listening, reading, creating, contemplating, writing, planning and building. So external speaking and physical interactions are not my strengths simply because this is not an area that has been developed enough. Even as a kid my dad was usually too busy to spend quality time with me so we communicated in writing, leaving each other handwritten notes or drawings on the bedside table. So it followed that I learned to express in writing. Later I learned to listen eagerly whenever involved with conversations. I LOVE hearing people express verbally to me and realize that SPEAKING what is inside rather than writing is just a matter of getting used to trusting those thoughts to come out clean and uncut, not worrying about the quality or how things are said as much as the purity of thought. It is a matter of feeling comfortable with speaking what you think or feel without pre-analyzing as one tends to do when writing them, but that is something that is being worked on, so..if I start talking too MUCH..that will be the reason! lol.

If you speak to multitudes and all but one or two are sleeping, do you throw down the mic and storm offstage in a rage? Or do you feel happy that those one or two heard, appreciated and absorbed your message? I cast the seeds of my creativity..speaking for myself I am thrilled and fulfilled if people hear and feel me. It makes the expressions even more worthwhile than expressing it alone just to get it out of myself or creating/recording for others. The more who appreciate the better..obviously! But when even just one or two come forward and let me know something that was sung or expressed meant something to them or reached them in some way, that means everything! Back to the the first sentence..it still stands on its own as a general question. I was using myself as example but this is not about me. It is about everyone who has a message and are attempting to be heard.

Quotes:

* I don't know about you, but when I get over serious I start wallowing and then nothing any good gets done about anything! Nawww..Can't have that. Since there is nobody else on my court, every position must be played by this kid here. Moi. She's here..she's there..she's every effing where..so..!!!! When life, like a big hairy gorilla, throws shit all over me, I rub that in, roll around in it for a minute, throw a little back, laugh at the ridiculousness then get up and mind my biz. America looooves to knock your ass down. I'm getting use to that. Do I have to stay down? hellllnoooo *shrugs, whistles (badly) and keeps it moving.

* As long as you are breathing and able to think and move on your own its never too late to change yourself, get back on path or change your direction. Life is never set in stone. Weird ish you'd never expect just happens everyday, but you are the driver! Even if other cars eff up your drive, learn how to control that vehicle with discipline, patience, focus and strategy. Even if you have to pull over to the shoulder and re-check the map, there's a multitude of ways to get to one destination. #Randomness

* My dreams and aspirations will always come second to my daughter's needs..end of story.

* Sometimes I feel like Joan of Arc fighting among a bunch of sleeping soldiers. Apathy is taking over the hip hop community. Especially artists who HAVE got the skills to make a difference! Hip hop is not dead but damn..artists must be either working so hard and so busy they can't look up, or lost their love for it..because from where I'm sitting, I'm sure not seeing a lot of connecting + force strengthening going on. Blame the weed..mofos are getting TOOOO laid back!

* I have been trying to put my pen down all night, mental processes are in overdrive lately. I've done a lot of writing and eyes are drooping but the thoughts and concepts keep coming. There's noting else to do but ride with it. Hey, I'm not complaining lol..just trying to keep my body awake long enough to get em all out!

* ..If there's one thing I have learned, it is that life has no absolute consistency. There is, however, continuity and a definite pattern even in the simplest things. Everything changes. It makes sense when you look at how the earth turns, tides ebb and flow, seasons change, weather changes. If we try to defy nature and stand still against the inevitable..we will fail. As long as we use our time wisely in our lifetime, learn, experience, grow, give it all we have..we cannot lose. That brings to mind the words of the song 'No Ideas Original'.."No ideas original, there's nothing new under the sun, its never what you do but how its done...".

* I don't struggle with self love, no problems with depression. I do have a few health problems but eh..I just get on with it! I deal with the tools and resources I DO have to work with. There are no issues with other people. (Some may have issues with me but i send em love anyway!)...I do not enjoy creating drama..(Might try to occasionally shake a few trees just to see who's awake!)..I'm not sex starved or pining for a man right now right now.  I don't hate or feel threatened by my sisters and always support women and men equally..So..when I jump on facebook and browse statuses I wonder..Is there something wrong with me because of all that? Nah I'm grateful to be who I am. It just seems, from what is being posted on social networks, like a lot of people are not "happy" unless they're miserable or mad about something.

* We WILL have tests..storms..hard times. ALL OF US in one way or other WILL have our turn at devastation. There's no escaping it..so you must deal with it. Keep your eyes on the road. Laugh at the insanity (as has been said many times in the past in my posts). Speak your mind, keep moving forward and be at peace with yourself thru it all.

* Power to the talented, creative spirits out there who love what they do. Whether you share it publicly or just to a few, I lahhve and get you totally. I understand the drive to get it out! You are not alone. It always reminds me of that old classic movie "Close Encounters Of the Third Kind". It's that inner drive that every creative person understands. It is a drive that can connect people at a certain level and can only be understood by those that have that specific element inside them.

* Back in the day people's unique features or sound made them special. Nowadays people seem to strive to, or are groomed to look and sound similar or to a specified directive. If they were around today would Jimmy Durante get a nose job? Michael Douglas have work done on his chin? Marilyn Monroe have a lap band, booty and boob implants to keep up with current standards of "beauty"? Sidney Poitier have his skin lightened and nose reshaped? They were embraced and celebrated BECAUSE of their looks, cultures and individual styles. Let's get back to the day when people were allowed to be beautiful by virtue of the talent they brought to the table and their own uniqueness of look, style and character.

* Contemplations: My product is great and improvement comes from hard work. If I were given the divine ability to change anything, it would be the outer packaging. But since I have no choice but to accept my outer shell, all I can do is treat it well, polish it up and fine tune it as well as possible for optimum mileage and public perception.

* It frustrates me watching so many skilled, and a lot of veteran artists making the worst music ever because they accept random beats by email. Sit DOWN with a producer! No matter how busy you think you are, make time to go thru the producer's catalogues! Would you go to a jeweler for fine jewelry and tell them to just pick out anything? NO..They would bring out trays for you. If your music is important to you, slow down and pay attention to the foundations of the track..the instrumental!

* Artists, to say you have nothing more to write about is like saying you cut your tongue out and can't speak, lost hearing and cannot hear, gouged out your eyes and cannot see. Don't bs the public, keep it real. You just lost the hunger to lyrically express...

* I am not the most outgoing human for casual socializing, since my experience is relatively sparse, ..but i'm a hell of a worker!  I know how to roll my sleeves up and work my butt off better than I know how to be a social butterfly. I guess its all part of the learning curve of life. That is all.

* To anyone who has ever seen "something" in me, enough to invest time and mental/physical energy, took time to pass on a thought, advice, knowledge, took time to laugh or verbally box or breathe the air with me, I salute you from the heart. Trust time invested in a work in progress like myself is never lost, never wasted and always treasured.

*  #RandomMorningThought: When you stop listening, comprehending, learning, stepping outside of your self made box, making adjustments when you know you are effing up, and picking yourself up when you trip and fall on your face or get knocked down; if u can't brush yourself off, grin..say "ahhh I get it" or laugh at the absurdities of life..then you are not living. It means you are already stagnating to the point of non life. Don't let that be you.

* That person you are looking down your nose at..dissing to their face or behind their back..making faces like a bulldog chewin' a mothball..That person you frown so hard at, scratch your head at and mumble to yourself that they are an imbecile..That person you degrade in your own mind..may be the best friend you could ever have..or the greatest mind you could connect with..or the one who brings the most to the table..or the most intelligent, insightful, talented or funny human you ever met..THEY COULD BE all of those things! But you would never know unless you looked beyond your shallow, biased, pre-conceived notions or what your fragile ego imagines. LiFE is short..get over yourself!

*  I HAVE DISCOVERED THE ONE WAY TO SHUT EVERYBODY COMPLETELY UP..ITS LIKE MAGIC FOLKS..TRY IT! ALL YOU GOTTA DO IS SAY THE MAGIC WORDS "GIVE ME YOUR FEEDBACK"..AND HEY PRESTO!! ..SILENCE IS YOURS FOR THE NEXT THREE DAYS LOL

*  It's crazy..I am browsing on E-bay drooling over some pro audio (just to torture myself lol), and seeing some of the old stuff I used to mess with, like for instance a Digitech Studio Quad 4 (multi efx processor), and see them selling for insane amounts now!!! (Well insane according to my budget, maybe not to the high rollers.) I had a rack full of analogue stuff to mess with in England but it seems like people are still appreciating the vintage analogue equipment, which is awesome! Even some 80's reel to reels are super expensive, because true professionals know you can't beat the vintage sounds..ahh yeaa.. NOT that I am a pro like that, just know what I used to like playing with..it was so addictive back in the day too!

* #Confession: If i could have afforded it I would have loved to have continued with my photography hobby which I'd had years ago before going to England. I had loved running around snapping things, and used to have a little darkroom set up in a light proof closet with safelight to develop the pics, with all the chemical trays laid out in the kitchen. I also fell in love with music video production while in music college in Blackburn, but we didn't get enough hands on time with it..would have loved to have had more time on that class! #RandomMusing

*  I am thankful for the people in my life, whether long known, or new acquaintances who share hearts, minds and passions openly and without reserve, and for those who take time and trouble to step outside the box to give strength, comfort or encouragement not only to me but to each other when they see somebody struggling. There's not enough of it..lets keep that chain growing!

* In the next life I hope that I am granted the gift of speech..to have the ability to speak words so powerful and well constructed that people listen and feel, understand and accept the magnitude of what is said when spoken from the heart..and that those words can move them enough to take action. But then I also hope humans are installed with passion, compassion, love, continuity, loyalty and "life" in future life.. #HiddenDreamz

* I made my daughter get up saying "You better get busy tidying up and making this place look presentable before your friends get here". Half asleep she sighed and groaned "momm they're my FRIENDS..not the pope"..my str8 "mother face" dissolved into a chuckle..uhm..point taken but it ain't gonna get her out of what she has to do. Lol..#KidsExcelAtPolitics

*  I have caught myself many times inwardly rolling my eyes at people and thinking "they are stressing over thaaat?? They have people around them who care, they have support, they have kin with them or nearby if needed. Imagine if they had to walk in my shoes and deal with the issues that I do!"  BUT revelations and maturity brought it home to me that every one of us has ish to deal with and we all sometimes spin wheels or flap until the wind catches our sails again. Nobody's issues are more or less important than somebody else's. We all must deal with "things" that are thrown at us. Stress of course doesn't make it any better..but that is part of the lesson in learning to cope and surf above life's waves, rather than allowing them to crash over us and ending up over our head with our arms flailing helplessly. Gotta sink or swim and keep in mind that losing a skirmish or battle never means losing the war.
 
* "Never let them see you sweat" he said..so I hold on until I lay sleepless in my bed..drowning in tears, fears and regrets, trying to remember and not forget..that I am a warrior and a queen with victories behind me, and many still to be seen.. S/N nah its not a finished poem or lyric, just a mofohari sitting by the river contemplating "Life".
 
* I need to recharge..could somebody take the wheel for awhile? I would be nice if somebody could head up the front line so that I could retreat and regroup..buttt..it just ain't gonna happen, so I shall reload the chamber and keep going........like an eveready battery running on solar energy?

* My brain is making a mashup of about three different songs right now..:/   I need to mentally mute two of them. If you were inside my head it would go a little somethin like this:                I'm takin ya back come follow me
On a journey to see a for real MC
The mind tricks the body
Body thinks the mind is crazy
But when I get the slazy
Keep my flow I'm Swayze
I don't know why you hate this here
When you know you find this bitch sexy here
Aint nobody hatin' on you
You mad cuz a bitch ain't waitin' on you ahhh
The time is right, you hold me tight
And love's got me high
Please tell me, 'Yes' and don't say, 'No'
Honey, not tonight
Move a little close to me, You owe it to yourself                                                         And I will selfishly take a little for myself and it's because of you                                      That love won't let me wait